One small step and then another one

One day this week I opened the morning newspaper and just laid my head down on the table and cried. The sad part is I don’t even remember what it was. There’s something new every day, and there’s no bottom.

Like so many people, I’ve overcome a lot in life, and after the drama of youth, I’m happy to be happy. On the cusp of 70, I want to enjoy my time on the planet and ignore everything that isn’t pleasant. But there’s a tiny problem. I have all these quotes dancing around in my head, and one of them is about what happens when good men do nothing. Something about the triumph of evil.

I keep singing Guns of Brixton. The Clash.

The money feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely your time will come
As in Heaven as in Hell

Or maybe a little Pink Floyd. Wish You Were Here.

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell? Blue skies from pain?
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

So, I guess I’m in it. Not happily, I’ll admit that. I try not to think about it all the time. I try to remember I still have a great life, and there is much goodness and beauty to behold. Dale and I still make each other laugh. I’ll write what I need to write, say what I need to say, donate money to organizations fighting the good fight and otherwise protest when I can.

One small step and then another one.

For the record, NostraDonna predicted weeks ago that Trump and his cronies were using tariffs to game the stock market. I Googled it multiple times and found nothing to support my suspicions. Even Dale said, oh, no, that’s a stretch. Now, insider trading news is all over the place, and I hope somebody somewhere gets nailed over it.

What I’m eating

We had leftover roast chicken, so Dale made chicken tortilla soup yesterday, and it was spectacular. I grew up eating Mexican food in Southern California, but I had never even heard of this until sometime in the 90s and had my first bowl in South Carolina, if you can believe that.

Ours is a spicy base made with fire roasted tomatoes, garlic, onions and poblano peppers seasoned with a Pendery’s chili powder called Fire and Smoke (not for the feint of heart). The shredded chicken goes in toward the end. We serve it in big bowls, and then we each do our own toppings – crumbled queso fresco, chopped cilantro, avocado chunks, fried tortilla strips and a wedge of lime. A frosty beer to go with!

The recipe makes four servings, so we freeze half of it. When that second one goes, we’re always thinking about roasting another chicken just so we can have the soup again. We never get sick of it.

Over the weekend, Dale grilled a chuck roast. We called it Chunk ‘O Beef. I am sometimes known as Side Dish Mama, so to live up to the hype, I made zucchini sauteed with onions and mushrooms along with potato halves stuffed with sour cream and chives and topped with cheddar cheese. It was warm enough to eat outside, which was great.

I know the price of eggs is all the rage, but someone needs to investigate the price of chives. I should really try growing my own.

What I’m watching

I canceled Amazon Prime but still have access until mid-May, when it expires. That means I’m squeezing in Bosch Legacy. It’s good, but I’m pretty much done with that series. I’ve missed my shows on PBS Passport.

Dale doesn’t watch much TV, but we are both enjoying Matlock with Kathy Bates. I like her as an actor, and I also feel a personal connection. Like me, Kathy is BRCA-positive and has had both ovarian and breast cancer. There aren’t many of us walking around.

What I’m reading

I read Countdown City, the second book in the Last Policeman Trilogy by Ben Winters. An asteroid headed for Earth is expected to destroy the planet within months, and the story follows a young detective as everything around him devolves. One might think it would be depressing, considering our current situation, but I have not found that to be the case. It’s interesting to see how people cope, particularly how they cope with the unknown. There are lessons to be learned. I can’t wait to see how it ends.

Previously, I’ve mentioned Kills Well with Others by Deanna Raybourn, and it turns out she’s quite a prolific writer. I thoroughly enjoyed A Curious Beginning, the first in the Veronica Speedwell mysteries. The setting is Victorian England, and Veronica is by her own definition an “old maid.” However, she’s also a butterfly expert and world traveler with a mysterious past that begins to unravel. Yes, there’s murder. And perhaps a bit of romance?

I have three library books by my bedside, and the clock is ticking, so I need to get moving on them. Our library has done away with overdue fees, but for me, that pressure to get them back in time will never go away. I’ll report on those books in due time. Get it??? Due time?

11 thoughts on “One small step and then another one”

  1. As my old aunt would say – keep your Pekar/pecker up, Donna. Her name was Donna, too! You can’t make sense out of nonsense. This always grounds me:
    There are things you do because they feel right
    & they may make no sense
    & they may make no money
    & it may be the real reason we are here:
    to love each other
    & to eat each other’s cooking
    & to say it was good.
    ‘Real Reason’ by Brian Andreas

    1. So many good thoughts. I will try to keep my Pekar up! I love those words by Brian Andreas. Perfect.

  2. Every day my heart or head or both get broken by the acts of this Administration. I do what I feel are small acts of protest or resistance, hoping that joined with others’ acts, small or large, will amount to enough to make a difference. I feel that those who have the power to stop them are asleep at the wheel, or aren’t paying attention or really want this kind of government and country. Makes me want to scream and scratch their eyes out. (Sorry, did I really say that? I used to be such a pacifist.)

    On another note, do get yourself a chive plant. I have two, now going on 3 years old. One is in a pot and the other one is in the raised bed that is dedicated to herbs. They overwinter amazingly well, dying back completely and then are the first to send out new spires. We’ve been cutting from them for the past month already. I try to leave the flowers which are beautiful, for the bees who love them, but pop them off before they go completely to seed because those buggers will turn up everywhere if you don’t.

    I dry many of my herbs in late summer for winter use, just cutting them and laying them on parchment paper on the top of our dining room hutch and the two countertops that are part of a dining room built in cabinets. I dry mint for tea (also grown in a big pot or the mint will take over my garden), basil, thyme and lemon thyme, marjoram, cilantro, parsley and whatever new thing I can find for the season. I don’t dry sage…it lasts in the garden for a long time and we have two landscape rosemary bushes that are good all year round. I don’t dry the chives either but they have a long season. Herbs dried from your garden are a thousand times more fragrant and potent than any you can buy from anywhere.

    The meals you and Dale make, make my mouth water. Home cooked food is one of the great pleasures we can enjoy.

    1. Thank you for your efforts, even if they feel small. They matter. I am also amazed by how my pacifism has morphed. I might actually need a punching bag, but then I worry about my shoulder, my wrists, etc.

      I very much appreciate your thoughts on growing herbs. You’ve really got me motivated now.

  3. Great post Donna. Through all the tears and fears, we still stand strong. Every little bit we do makes a difference. Did you read about the huge crowd , over 26,000, that showed up for Bernie and AOC’s rally in Folsom yesterday? That will put a smile on your face! I like what Monica’s aunt said. I will also add, reignite your creativity for your art carvings. I joined a fabulous online art class. I spend most of my time painting and looking at art. A wonderful distraction from viewing clown mugs in the news.

    1. Two of my golf buddies told me they were there yesterday. They couldn’t get in — the line was three miles long. So, they sat outside and listened. They said it was fantastic. NYT had a nice write-up on it.

      And thank you for the reminder to work more on my art. I have a piece I’ve been working on seemingly forever. I think it will help to get back at it.

  4. I love reading about your kitchen creations. Chives are easy to grow. I planted a it of chives 8 years ago. They produce abundantly! We live in SW Ontario so the clump dies under winter snow but it comes back early in spring.

    1. I’m ready to try it! And thank you for letting me know you like the food posts. I like writing about what we eat, so that’s good.

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