Category: Cannabis

Cannabis for lightweights

My autoflowering Jack Herer strain at 66 days.
Mr. E. Pupil, the clone I purchased from the dispensary at one week.

When I had chemotherapy 23 years ago, I struggled with nausea and loss of appetite. Even though I was subject to drug testing at work, we decided to take a chance, and Dale managed to find me some pot … yes, in South Carolina! He rolled up a little joint one day, and all of the sudden, I was like, “What’s for dinner?”

I hated smoking it, but cannabis improved my mood and helped me maintain a good appetite so I could stay strong and endure the rest of the treatments. I do believe cannabis helped save my life.

Cannabis has come a long way. While I know some readers live in areas where cannabis is still severely restricted or against the law, others enjoy the benefits of legalized medical or recreational use. Living in California, legal cannabis is readily available, and now that I’m retired and no longer subject to drug tests, I grow and use it mostly for what I call “medicinal purposes.”

My blog statistics show a steady interest in my periodic cannabis reports, so here goes.

Growing Indoors

Although I’m not much of a gardener, I’ve been growing cannabis indoors for several years now. It’s not hard to grow, even for a novice, and that’s one of the reasons they call it weed – it grows like a weed. And it’s such a cool plant. I love seeing it morph over time. The buds are gorgeous.

I grow autoflowers from seed. Autoflowers are also known as ruderalis. This means the plant will flower when it’s ready and does not require special equipment to block out the light (non-autoflowers need 12 hours of darkness in the flowering stage).

Autoflowers are not as prolific as one might hope, but I’ve had decent results. Average growing time for me is 71 days and average yield is 17 grams. My highest yield was 30 grams.

Growing Outdoors

Last year, I purchased a seedling, also known as a clone, for about $20 from the local cannabis dispensary. Our yard doesn’t get a lot of sun, and the spot I picked in the flowerbed didn’t help. The plant failed to get enough sunlight and did not flourish, although it didn’t die.

I purchased another clone this week and planted it in a pot I placed in the sunniest part of the yard. If this one works, I should easily double my typical yield on the autoflowers.

Topical Balm

I use topical cannabis balm every day on my knees, an itchy thing on my back called Notalgia Paresthetica and other creaky body parts. You can buy it from the dispensary or make it yourself. My recipe for homemade balm is on the downloads page.

My preference is to use a strain high in CBD, which all reports suggest is a great anti-inflammatory and even better when combined with THC. It’s called the entourage effect. When you buy it commercially, look for the CBD to THC ratio. A ratio of 1:1 is typical, and a 3:1 ratio would be a high-CBD balm.

I haven’t had success growing a high-CBD strain, so I purchase flower from the dispensary. In the past, I’ve used CBD Shark, Ringo’s Gift and Harlequin.   

Tincture

There are two types of tincture. One is made with glycerin, and you put a couple of drops under your tongue for quick results. The other type is made with alcohol, and it’s too strong to put under your tongue. I mix it with liquids and drink it. It can take 30 minutes to hour to feel any effects.

Tincture might be my favorite use for cannabis. A little bit goes a long way and makes me feel happy and calm. Dale and I joke that I’m “On the tinc.”

I made my own tincture from alcohol several years ago, and I still have some left! If you’re using it for the first time, you should titrate. Start with two drops (not dropperfuls) and wait at least an hour to see if you feel any effects. Repeat over several days, adding one drop at a time, to see what the minimum dose is.

Even after almost five years, I only use four or five drops, but then I’m a lightweight. Dale tried it and felt nothing. But he didn’t have the patience to titrate.

Since I use tincture mostly for the psychotropic effects, I’m less concerned about CBD. If I get a big yield off my outdoor plant this year, I’ll probably use it for a new batch of tincture. Sometimes I mix it with juice in the morning, but recently I discovered another great use. Instead of whiskey, I like a cup of tea with tincture as a happy hour drink.

The tincture does add a taste to liquids, and I’ve been experimenting with various teas that complement the herby nature of cannabis. So far, I like Hibiscus, Double Red Rooibos and Irish Whiskey Flavored Tea. Sadly, the latter does not taste like Irish Whiskey to me, but I like it anyway.

Edibles for Sleep

While edibles are a pleasant way to get high or treat pain, I’ve only used them to help with sleep. Some products say they are “low dose” at 5 or 10 mgs of THC. Ten would knock me off my feet, but even five is a bit much. Most edibles can be cut in half. However, I recently discovered Kiva Blackberry CBN Mints, which are my new low-dose faves.

Each mint has 2 mgs of THC and 1 mg of CBN, the cannabinoid that has sedative effects. I often toss and turn at night, but I ate one of those mints before bed, and I don’t think I budged, not even to pee or drink water. And I felt refreshed when I woke up.

The tin holds 40 mints. The list price was $17.93 plus tax, but the dispensary was featuring 20 percent off edibles that Sunday, so I got a nice little discount. Even at full price, that’s about 44 cents a dose.

Sometimes it pays to be a lightweight!

Undyed and loving it

Manchego and Chorizo Muffins

Whilst relaxing outside with a beer after a round of golf, one of the women noticed I got my hair cut. I took off my hat to show her the full effect, and she was surprised by all the gray. She liked it and said it was pretty, and then one of the perpetual blondes at the table said she wasn’t ready to go there yet.

Go where? To the land of the undyed, where we are forced to walk the Earth looking our age? I’ve heard others say they are too vain or they aren’t ready to give up. I’m plenty vain, but for me, it’s more about the complete package than simply the color of my hair.

I actually believe I look better than I ever have, and just so you know, my prefrontal cortex is kinda hot, too.

Putin on the blitz

Not to take anything away from the Ukrainians, but I’m having a hard time with Russia. Not the people, of course, but I am so angry with Putin. Our planet is dying, the world has suffered through a pandemic – more than 5 million people dead – and just as it looks like we might be getting a break – all he can do is think about killing some more? For a land grab?

I know the whole thing is more complicated than that, and Dale, an amateur military historian, would be more than happy to explain it to me in excruciating detail. However, one more Hitler documentary, and this marriage is over!

Oh, and let’s not forget about all the fucktards who have cozied up to this sociopath over the past years and still have trouble saying anything bad about him. And it’s not just Trump, either. If I’ve learned anything over the past two years, it’s that I know nothing, but I’m thinking the lovefest with Putin has got to be about money. When all else fails, follow the money.

While I’m not a religious person, I join those of you in praying for peace and hoping there’s a way out of this mess.

Savory Baking

I absolutely positively did not need another cookbook, but I’m weak that way. I purchased The Savory Baker by the folks at America’s Test Kitchen.  I was still debating what to try first, when Dale flipped through it and said he was smitten with the idea of Manchego and Chorizo Muffins. It’s actually the first recipe in the book, so I’m guessing he didn’t flip too far. Still, hat’s off to Dale keeping it simple.

The muffins include a variety of flavor bombs, including Manchego cheese, Spanish chorizo, fresh parsley, jarred red peppers and sour cream. I made them yesterday, and we reheated them for breakfast this morning. All I can say is yum.

Next will be Jalapeño Cheddar Scones. But then we would eat jalapeño cheddar dragon poop.

Adventures of a gentlewoman cannabis farmer

I took a break from growing cannabis, because it seemed like we had plenty, but it’s kind of like wine in a box – it goes fast. I started an indoor plant from seed this week, and it will soon be time to buy a clone in an attempt to successfully grow a plant outdoors. Last year’s clone didn’t make it – not enough sun in the flower bed – so this time I’m growing it in a pot in the middle of the yard. That should maximize sunnage.

Although I do imbibe, my favorite use for cannabis is for balm, which is featured on my downloads page. It’s a little miracle cream for all parts achy. You can buy the commercial product where it’s legal, but it is more expensive than making it yourself. I am not a fan of CBD-only products. If they work for you, or that’s all you can get, who cares? But I have found products made with the whole plant to be more effective.

I attended a cannabis education program when I first retired, and I see the same folks are offering an online course to earn a budtender certificate. OK, so I don’t want to be a budtender, because that looks too much like work, but maybe I’d like to know what they know? Let’s just say I have a learning orientation.

The self-paced course might keep me from ruminating on all the gloom and doom. I mean, I know that’s what Jalapeño Cheddar Scones are for, but every little bit helps.

We’re from the government, and we’re here to help

Ralph, my indoor cannabis plant, complete with cat-proof fencing.

I turned 66 in September, and my Full Retirement Age for Social Security is 66 and two months. After much great discussion right here on this very blog, I decided to file for benefits.

It was easy to do online, however, I wasn’t sure how they calculated the month of November. I didn’t want to mess this up, so I adjusted the timing to be sure I was absolutely positively Full Retirement Age and opted to receive my first payment in January.

Imagine my surprise when the phone rang, and it was a most pleasant woman from the Social Security Administration. She asked why I chose January. I explained my paranoia and said I figured January would ensure I didn’t have money deducted because I filed too soon.

She laughed and said this happens all the time, and that’s why she was calling. If I reach Full Retirement Age anytime in November, I could get my first check in December. Deal! She made the adjustment, and now I’m good to go.

I have to admit, I was reminded of my working days when suited-up people arrived in the hinterlands and said, “Hi, we’re from Corporate, and we’re here to help.”

But this time it was the government, and it appears to be true.

Thanksgiving

I’m not sure what Thanksgiving is going to look like this year. We’re getting new cabinet faces in the kitchen and a new countertop, and then all new flooring downstairs. Our contractor was supposed to start in September, but now he’s scheduled to start next week. I figure this could run into November or even later.

Oh, well. We can always celebrate on a different day. Even with just the two of us, celebration means cooking. We do a big turkey and eventually eat every last bite of it. Some gets made into delicious leftovers and a whole breast goes into the freezer.

Dessert is the big question. Last year I made a command decision and went with pumpkin cheesecake. We both loved it, but Dale likes apple pie, and I figure it’s his turn to choose. I could probably tell the story of my life through apple pie – moderate success, excruciating failures. Bad crust, ill temper.

All my recipes have notes about what worked, what didn’t. It would seem I could get this right. This year, I’m going to gather my recipes and create a new one. Danger, danger, Will Robinson.

You may recall I bought a steel pie pan recently. One might trot that out for apple pie, however, the pan sucked. I thought the corrugated bottom would increase crispiness, but I found it did quite the opposite. Some parts didn’t connect with the steel, and they remained soggy.

One pie made me so mad, I just threw the whole thing away, pan and all. Now, it’s just me and my Pyrex. As it was meant to be.

The year of the osis

For me, this has been the year of the osis. Osteoporosis, spinal stenosis. While I do have some lower back pain, it’s not really in my back, more like in my buttocks. And it’s actually quite manageable. I still swim, walk, play golf and do weights. Sitting is the worst.

I did visit a pain management specialist upon the recommendation of my primary care physician, and it was pretty much a waste of time. She showed me the MRI results and basically guessed spinal stenosis is causing my pain. Because there has to be some explanation, right?

Steroid injections are an option, but I declined. It’s just not that bad, and she said it might not work and even if it does, the benefits don’t last all that long. A little short of sales skills. She was amazed I do all I do with the degree of stenosis she saw on the MRI. Which tells me maybe that’s not the cause.

Presumably, the human back hasn’t changed much in at least 500 years. And we didn’t always have MRIs to point the finger. People didn’t know what they didn’t know, and somehow, they managed to plod on, osis notwithstanding.

Cat-proofing cannabis

Finally, in the continuing adventures of a gentlewoman cannabis farmer, our cat, Riley, discovered the joys of destruction and killed my last seedling. There’s no THC in it at that point, so it’s not like he’s a kitty stoner. He just liked digging up the young plant and chomping on it.

Many thanks to Dale, who built me a cat-proof fence. Now, Riley sits there and stares at it. Weeping, one kitty tear at a time. How. Could. This. Happen.

We actually have two plants. Our outdoor plant, Steve, didn’t get enough sun and barely grew. However, there are a couple of nice buds, which are about ready for harvest. Next year, I will grow my outdoor plant in a container and put it where there’s lots of sun.

My indoor plant, Ralph, is coming along nicely with his new protective barrier. His power comes from a south-facing window and a 450-watt LED grow light.

I actually don’t use much cannabis, except for my homemade balm, but I enjoy the challenge of growing it. It’s a harmless (and in many places legal) retirement hobby for those of us who aren’t much into travel. You can always stay home with your plant and your Pyrex.

If you’re at all interested, I got started with a kit from A Pot for Pot. Easy and cost-effective. My best indoor plant yielded 30 grams, which is a nice little stash of weed, if one is so inclined.

THC transdermal patches for pain

For various reasons I’ll share in due time, I’ve had a bit of pain for the past few months. I’m careful not to take too much Advil, although it works beautifully. I alternate with Tylenol.

My doctor suggested prescription pain meds, which I rejected. I just kind of felt like I’m not that bad off. I’m still walking and playing golf. When she said maybe I’d like to try a Lidocaine patch, I recalled a discussion about transdermal patches when I attended the cannabis education seminar at Oaksterdam University.

Like other transdermal patches, the cannabis variety is a thin plastic strip similar to a Band-Aid and is applied to a venous area of the body, such as the inside of your wrist. You don’t actually place the strip on the part of your body that hurts. The cannabinoids are slowly released into your bloodstream for about 12 hours.

Off I went to the dispensary to purchase my own little stash of patches. There were so many choices! Different brands, different strengths, some higher in THC, some higher in CBD and some higher in CBN. CBD is noted for its anti-inflammatory properties, and CBN helps with sleep. You may also choose between Sativa or Indica.

Like many cannabis users, I typically find Sativa more uplifting and Indica better for winding down. But everyone is different.

Although a lot of people get excited about CBD, most of the studies I’ve read say cannabinoids are at their best when they work together. It’s called the entourage effect. For most people, that means CBD is good alone, but CBD with THC is better.

There are key differences between topical creams and transdermal patches. You’re not likely to fail a drug test using topical creams, but you will most likely come up positive using a transdermal patch. Topical creams will not get you high, but you may experience a slight buzz from a patch.

I purchased four patches, each with 20 MG of THC. I chose Sativa, because I find it more energizing than Indica.

A word about dosage. Smoking, vaping or consuming 20 MG of THC will definitely get you high. Too high for my taste. I’m a lightweight when it comes to cannabis and always start low and go slow. For example, I buy Kiva cannabis-infused blueberries coated in milk chocolate for occasional help with sleep. They are only 5 MG, and even after using cannabis several times a week for a few years, I cut them in half.

However, a transdermal patch only releases a little at a time, and the effects are minimal. Even so, the budtender suggested I try cutting them in half or quarters.

For the first one, I tried cutting it in half. I definitely felt a slight buzz, enough of one that I would be careful about driving. But, wow, pain be gone!! I had a productive day and felt great.

Then I tried a quarter, no buzz and not much pain relief. Next, I tried cutting it into thirds, and for me, that’s the magic number. I put it on about 30 minutes ago, and I feel very pleasant but not high, just a little happier than normal. While the pain is not completely gone, it’s unnoticeable … irrelevant.

With my senior/veteran’s discount, cost per patch with taxes at my California dispensary was $10.80. At three uses per patch, that’s $3.60 for all-day pain relief. The budtender said if they worked well for me, to come back on Mondays, when they are 15 percent off.

I am absolutely in awe of this medicine, and sincerely hope this information has been helpful for those of you in search of safe and healthy pain relief. If you don’t want the THC or live in a place where cannabis is illegal, Mary’s Medicinals has a sister company, Made by Mary’s, that sells hemp-based patches. I have not tried them, although they get great reviews.

By the way, I don’t get any kind of a kickback from Mary’s – there are other brands I’m sure are equally fantastic. I went with Mary’s simply because I met someone at the cannabis seminar I attended who was a fan. Sometimes just one personal referral does the job.

Here at the homestead

I’m still daydreaming about what I’ll do different after I get my second dose of the COVID vaccine and the immune effects kick in. As always, the virus is in charge, so we’ll assess the risks as we go. First stop is a haircut, followed by a dentist appointment.

Meanwhile, here at the homestead, I continue to dabble in self-sufficiency. It’s fun to try new things, and I am forever grateful I could retire and enjoy this lifestyle. Even with limited social interaction, I’m having a damned good time.

Cannabis

Cannabis Ruderalis at 27 days (from seed).

I tossed my last cannabis plant because it never entered the flowering stage. I have a new one going, and it looks healthy. It will be another couple of weeks before I see signs of flowering, but I am ever hopeful.  

As I’ve described before, I start with autoflowering (Ruderalis) seeds and grow the plant in a pot by the window with additional overhead lighting. This is an easy and inexpensive way to grow cannabis, but the plants aren’t as productive as Sativa or Indica.

To grow Sativa or Indica indoors, you have to completely block out light for 12 hours during the flowering period, and that requires specialized equipment. Assuming I would only grow one plant at a time, I’d need a small tent and a fan, which I’m guessing at around $200 – more if it turns out I need a new light.

While I have both the space and the money, I’ve resisted this impulse because I didn’t want to get in over my head. Throughout the years, I’ve been known to squander money on what otherwise might be called a passing fancy. But same as my woodburning, I’ve been at it for more than a year now, and I’m starting to gain confidence in my skills, as well as my long-term interest.

The biggest advantage is greater yield. I mostly use cannabis to make balm, which I slather on religiously for creaky knees, post-mastectomy pain and an itchy place on my back called notalgia paresthetica.

I need an ounce of cannabis to make a batch of balm. My best Ruderalis yielded an ounce, but it’s usually less than that. I’ve read one Sativa or Indica could yield a pound!

The average price of an ounce of cannabis in California is around $257, so I would easily make my money back in one grow. I’m still on the fence, so more to come if I should decide to go down that rabbit hole.

Sure, I could just buy the cream, but what fun is that?

When neighbors hand you lemons

Candied Meyer lemon peel. Gorgeous but not delicious.

I made lemonade by juicing a bunch of my Meyer lemons with ginger root and adding simple syrup before freezing in medium tubs. I take a scoop, melt it and add some water for a great-tasting juice.

Then I candied some of the peel. I’ve never done this before, but it has always been on my dream sheet. It was a major pain in the ass to remove the pith, but I went at it like I was on a mission from God. My peels were pithless.

They look gorgeous, don’t you think? But they are not delicious and leave a weird taste in your mouth. I can’t quite bear to toss them yet, but I won’t be making them again.

sourdough adventures

Gollum, my fledgling sourdough starter.

I’m told you should name your starter, and so we now have Gollum. When it comes to sourdough adventures, I find myself thinking about Gandalf, who said, “My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play in it, for good or evil, before this is over.”

Gollum and I have been tinkering for about 10 days now. Starting with just a bit of flour and water, I waited a few days before he started to bubble. Then every day you toss 80 percent of the batter and feed it by mixing in more water and flour. I’m keeping a journal to document my progress.

At first my batter was too thin and not very active. Then I started weighing instead of measuring equal amounts of water and flour, and that was a huge improvement. I also had it covered with a dishtowel, and I got rid of that so “natural yeast” from the air could join the fun. Now he’s just topped with a loose plastic lid, slightly askew.

Gollum is bubbling ferociously again, and I think I’m close to being able to bake.

However, the telltale sign is whether you can see that it rises and falls daily. Because that’s what starter is – a substitute for the commercial yeast one typically uses to make bread dough rise. They say you should see evidence of this within four to 12 hours after feeding. I haven’t actually witnessed it, although I saw dried starter on the bottom of the lid.

I do not want to mess around with bread until I personally see the rise and fall, so my next step is to move it to a place where I can easily view what’s going on. Gollum is currently banished to a side room, so he’ll be moving into the kitchen later today.

Today is not yesterday

Cannabis tincture. Just a couple of drops from the dropper can ease anxiety.

Yesterday was a low point for me. Politics, pandemic, familial squabbles. I could feel my body and mind withdraw, and my only thought was enough is enough. And I say that as someone who has it easy.

This morning, I added a couple of drops of cannabis tincture to my orange juice. It’s so calming. A little miracle, really.

I make my own tincture, but if you live in a place where it’s legal, most dispensaries sell it. Mine is alcohol-based, so you have to mix it with something. Be careful not to overdo it. Go slow and start with just one or two drops, gradually increasing until you get the desired effect.

Most commercial tinctures are made with glycerin, so you put a drop under your tongue. Same advice about going slow. Either way, I highly recommend giving cannabis tincture a whirl. To me, it’s medicine.

My morning read includes an email newsletter called California Today from the New York Times, which I subscribe to. Today’s installment included an interview with a guy who has studied the far-right movement for many years. He said they’ve been around a long time and aren’t going away, but they never had a “sponsor” at the national level until Trump.

Perhaps I am naïve, but it gave me hope that once Trump is gone, they’ll go back to being a horrible splinter movement to be reckoned with but one without top cover at the highest levels.

Feeling better, I was pleased to see the stay-at-home orders for our region have been lifted. While the restrictions are based on the number of ICU beds available, they actually think people are being more cautious about masks and gatherings, and the numbers are starting to stabilize. That’s almost a minor miracle at this point.

We’re now in the purple tier, which allows for outdoor dining and other activities. There’s not much in the purple tier that applies to us. God knows, I’d love to get my hair sawed off, but I’m not going into a salon. While Dale and I aren’t venturing out anytime soon, it feels good just the same and will hopefully pacify the people who are so inclined.

We want to see happy people!

In another minor miracle, it is absolutely beautiful outside, peaking this afternoon at 62 degrees. I had supermarket sushi for lunch out on the patio, where I daydreamed about how joyful life will be further on down the road. Maybe we’ll be vaccinated by April? We’ll still have to be careful, but it will alleviate some pressure.

To celebrate that today is not yesterday, I’m going for a long walk and will not be wearing my usual 17 layers.

It gets better if you just hang on.

Ambition is overrated

My latest pallet scrap burned and embellished with colored pencils.

In my About Me profile, I wrote:

I like to play golf, walk, swim, cook, read, write, watch TV, listen to music, make art and grow cannabis.

And you know, that pretty much sums it up. I never imagined I’d arrive at this place, but I might be devoid of ambition. Although I was fairly successful in my career, success comes with baggage I no longer wish to carry. That could all change, but during this phase of my retirement, it’s rather pleasant to dabble in what amuses me and be free of expectations and judgment.

While I may be voted the girl least likely to do anything memorable, I’m enjoying simple pleasures that escaped me as I scrambled up the ladder at work. For example, I’ve been playing golf for about 25 years, and I’ve never enjoyed it more than I do now.

For years, I felt every swing was being judged. Every mistake was a failure of catastrophic proportions. Now I just play to play, and I am a much better golfer without all that self-induced pressure. Playing partners frequently ask me if I compete in amateur events, and my response is no, I’m not wired for it.

I’ve also learned to accept imperfection through my woodburning activities. At first, I wanted to hoard my art because that was easier than waiting for someone to say, “I like it.” I started giving it away, and it has been quite liberating. In some cases, I will never know if someone liked it. I only know what was in my heart when I created it and shared it. Somehow, that’s enough.

As for my other hobbies, some are going quite well and others leave something to be desired. Between the virus and Trump’s antics, it’s hard for me to sit still long enough to read. I have a book I’ve renewed two times, and I’m committed to reading it before the next expiration date.

But I honestly am not sure I can relax until Elvis has left the building. I was hoping that would be on Inauguration Day, but I read they have to deep clean the White House due to COVID-19 (not simply the stench of his presence), so it may take longer once they finally drag him out, perhaps kicking and screaming. Handcuffs would be nice.

I haven’t been swimming since the health club was forced to close down its indoor activities. The outdoor pools are still open, but I had concerns about the whole set-up. I really wanted to swim Sunday, so I reserved a lane and went over there. I did not like what I saw.

The weight equipment has been moved outside, and I had to walk through sweaty maskless people to reach poolside, where they set up stationary bicycles at the water’s edge, where I would normally enter the pool, and where sweaty maskless people were furiously spinning away.

I left. I’m keeping my membership for now, as I expect the restrictions to loosen sometime in January. You know, after the Christmas COVID rush. Once all that equipment and all those people move back inside, I’ll feel safer.

Although I may be overly cautious, it’s better than being careless or in denial. I played golf with an older guy, who said, “There’s a zero percent chance of getting this virus, but a few people do get it.” Lord. I just keep my mouth shut and the distance greater than six feet.

In the continuing adventures of a gentlewoman cannabis farmer, my plants have been doing great! I grow one at a time by a south-facing window with supplemental light. With autoflowering seeds, you don’t need much more than that. Since the summer, I’ve harvested 42 grams of high-quality buds.

That’s more than enough to make my next batch of cannabis balm, which I use daily on creaky body parts. The recipe is on my downloads page. While some say topical cannabis doesn’t work for them, I’m a believer. I first started using it shortly after my 2015 mastectomy, which resulted in neuropathic pain. I’m not good at describing what the pain feels like, but it’s like all the nerves are screaming, “Fire in the house!”

Recently it occurred to me I don’t have that pain anymore, so I stopped using the cream. Within a month, the pain returned. I also use it on my knees and on an itchy patch of skin on my back called Notalgia Paresthetica (Latin for itches like a mofo).

We celebrated 42 years of marriage on the winter solstice. I made tacos.

Successful homegrown

A close-up of my second successful cannabis plant at harvest.
About 30 grams of homegrown cannabis (minus one small bud for scientific studies).

Successful homegrown

When I was bringing the trash cans in this week, my neighbor asked if I had a minute. I’ve not talked with him much, but he seems like a nice guy. We kept our distance, kind of like Tim the Tool Man and Wilson.

So, I’m like, what’s up? He said, “Are you the gardener?” And that led to a great conversation about growing cannabis. Apparently, he can see the plant from its home by our South-facing window, and he has been quite mesmerized. He’d like to try growing it. I made him a cheat sheet, some of which I’ve shared below.

It’s fun to think I might have a grow buddy!

In the continuing adventures of a gentlewoman cannabis farmer, I’ve made great progress. In an earlier post, I mentioned that I received new cannabis seeds (at no additional cost) since so many of mine failed to germinate.

My first plant with the new seeds was a beauty. This time around, I didn’t use the kit from A Pot for Pot, although I still highly recommend that option. I’m thinking I can do it for less, although the up-front costs are a little higher.

I now buy Fox Farm Happy Frog Potting Soil. A 12-quart bag for about $20. I also purchased a three-pack of Fox Farm Liquid Nutrient Trio Soil Formula – Big Bloom, Grow Big and Tiger Bloom. Cost was $46. I follow their instructions for fertilizing.

Also from Amazon, I purchased a five-pack of VIVOSUN 3-gallon Plant Grow Bags for $13.99. A 3-gallon pot will typically produce a bigger plant than a 2-gallon pot from the same seed. Presumably a 5-gallon pot would yield even more, but I have not tried that yet.

My first plant ever in a 2-gallon pot took 102 days from seed to harvest over the winter. It was 20 inches tall at maturity. Yield was about 1/3 of an ounce or 10 grams. My second successful plant was in a 3-gallon pot during the summer and took 61 days from seed to harvest. It was denser with bigger buds but about the same height. Yield was just over an ounce or 30 grams.

I taste tested it yesterday, and it is perfectly potent weed, although I mostly use it to make my topical cream. Instructions are on my downloads page.

A new plant is already in fine shape. In yet another experiment, I re-used some of the potting soil, filling the bottom half of the fabric pot. Then I filled the top half with fresh soil. So far, so good.

The Burnmaster 5000

My latest woodburning art with a mix of colored pencils and acrylic paint.

My latest art was done entirely with the new high-end burning tool (we shall call it the Burnmaster 5000). It’s fabulous!! I’ve been experimenting with stippling techniques, which you can see on the tree-like thing on the left.

I also used a combination of acrylic paints and colored pencils. Pencils are easier to keep inside the lines, but depending on the wood and the color, sometimes I have to really go after it to get the kind of coverage I want. The paint was much more difficult to keep inside the lines, but coverage was great.

The red and orange horizontal elements on the bottom were done in paint. They’re large enough so keeping inside the lines wasn’t too much of an issue. But the smaller designs with white are also paint, and while I love the depth of color, it was a pain to keep it inside the lines and doesn’t look quite as good up close. In the future, I’ll probably just use the paint for larger designs.

Dale cut up the remainder of my scrap wood yesterday. There are some darker pieces, which I think will look better with paint. I can’t wait to get started!

Hoarding unflavored gelatin

Unflavored Gelatin Shortage?

Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes and other commodities that were off the radar for awhile seem to be back in stock, but have you looked for unflavored gelatin? I couldn’t find it online or in any store I visited. I did a Google search and found some food message boards with people asking if anyone else has noticed a shortage of unflavored gelatin.

I use unflavored gelatin to make marshmallows or occasionally something like a salmon mousse. I like to have some in the pantry, and I was completely out. After a couple of weeks, our local store had a box – but it was a 32-pack.

Bought it. It felt sort of like hoarding, but marshmallows can’t be silenced.

Although I don’t know what the issue is, in some ways, the 32-pack seems like a pretty slick marketing move.

Convince people there’s a shortage. No more of the little orange boxes to be found. Then introduce the jumbo supply of unflavored gelatin, and your sales immediately increase. I’m no marketing expert, but even I can see the flaws in this theory. The jumbo box is actually a lifetime supply, so when the surge is over, it’s over.

All that to say, I see marshmallows in my future.

Cannabis Kitty

In other serious matters, my cat has discovered marijuana. I have a small plant growing indoors, and all of the sudden, he was like, gee, I wonder what that is? Riley likes to sit on the window ledge and chomp on the leaves. He does not seem worse for the wear.

I researched it, and it seems lots of cats like to chew on the leaves. But they aren’t getting high, because the THC has not been activated by heat, and the leaves are pretty benign to begin with. I’m trying not to stress about it.

Welcome to Medicare

I’m officially on Medicare! I will turn 65 later this month, but Medicare went into effect today. I mentioned it to Dale when I got in the car with him to run an errand, and I said, “Don’t make me have to use it.” We have serious differences about how to drive and how to park.

But we do agree politically, so at least it’s not like living in the Conway family (of Kellyanne and George fame). I think I’d have to run away from home.

Anyway, the premiums are either deducted from your Social Security or paid quarterly. Unless something changes, I don’t plan on taking Social Security until my full retirement age, which is 66 and two months. I made my first quarterly payment.

I didn’t know this at first, and you might not either, but some of us pay more for Medicare than others, because they base it on your income taxes. My company paid out some long-term incentives that increased our income for two years after I retired, resulting in a higher Medicare premium.

Our income is back to retirement normal now, so the system should catch up and reduce our premiums within a couple of years. We file jointly, and Dale’s are higher, too, but he doesn’t notice, since it’s deducted from his Social Security.

This will also be the first year of getting the super-sized flu shot for those 65 and older. Yet another exciting milestone! I guess I’ll wait until late September or early October so it will last the whole season.

Gentlewoman cannabis farmer

My cannabis plant at 16 days.

cannabis seeds are tricksy

In the continuing adventures of a gentlewoman cannabis farmer, you may remember I started growing weed indoors late last year. I ordered a kit from A Pot for Pot and 10 seeds from I Love Growing Marijuana (ILGM).

My first plant was excellent! I used a two-gallon pot, so the plant didn’t get huge, but it grew nice and bushy, ultimately yielding about 10 grams of high-quality cannabis.  

Then I tried again with terrible results.

Seed #2 – Grew to harvest, but it looked weird and didn’t form buds. The cannabis had zero potency. I consulted with folks at A Pot for Pot, and they suggested it was an unusual phenotype. Then I consulted with a forum on ILGM. One member said it was a bad seed. Another suggested my lighting was substandard.

Seed #3 – Never entered the flowering stage.

Seed #4 – Never entered the flowering stage.

Seed #5 – Failed to germinate.

At this point, I was debating my whole approach to growing cannabis. I’m using autoflowering seeds, which means it should be easy to grow smallish plants inside with normal light. With regular seeds, you need a tent or some other kind of contraption to create a cycle for the flowering stage … 12 hours of light and 12 hours of complete darkness.

Autoflowering cannabis requires less equipment, so it’s less expensive to grow. The trade-off is a smaller yield, and some say the weed isn’t as good. My first batch was excellent, so I’m not sure I buy that argument.

Then I thought about lighting. The guy on the ILGM forum suggested a different sort of light that costs about $300. I didn’t want to spring for the light until I identified the source of the problem. Were my seeds bad, or was I doing something wrong?

I wrote to the folks at ILGM, where I purchased my seeds and attached pictures of my failures. I didn’t expect my money back or anything like that. I was just hoping for insight. They have a “Contact Us” page that is pre-populated with questions. One asked if your problem was with seed germination, and if so, how many failed to germinate? That made me wonder if germination failure is a common problem.

Even though I did have an issue with germination, I picked “Other” because I had the experience of five seeds. I wanted a holistic recommendation before trying #6.

Although I didn’t get the holistic recommendation I was after, they immediately sent me 10 free seeds and said they were confident I’d have better results. I’m not sure what that means. Did they know there was something wrong with the first ones? Or it this just part of the cannabis seed business?

From what I’ve read, ILGM is an honorable company, but seeds are imperfect, and that’s why they are so accommodating.

I’m delighted they stepped up and replaced my seeds! I did not purchase a new light – still using the cone light I installed for the first plant. This time, I did not buy the kit from A Pot for Pot. Instead, I bought all the elements separately – seedling starters, fabric pots, potting soil and fertilizer.

I’m now about 16 days into my first of the new seeds, and the plant looks spectacular. If all goes well, I’ll have enough to make another batch of my cannabis balm, which I use with great success on all my achy body parts.

Coconut Cream Pie?

I have this urge to make coconut cream pie. I’ve never made it before, but it’s calling my name. The recipes I’ve found so far call for graham cracker crust, which I adore, but I think coconut cream pie should have a pastry crust. I’m on the lookout for a recipe. Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?

Woodburning with vibrant colors

My most recent piece of woodburning art is now featured in the Gallery. I purchased spendy oil-based colored pencils, which are vibrant! I actually like the cheapo pencils, too. They are more subtle and look almost like a weathered tattoo. But the color pops with the new pencils. I will most likely use both, sometimes together for different effects.

Details and links to products I’m using are in the tutorial, which can now be viewed on the Downloads page.

Light in heart

I’m feeling rather lighthearted. I’m ever hopeful Trump is going down in November. While I try not to talk about politics too too much, I make no secret of my stance on that miserable excuse of a human being in the White House.

For the record, I respect a multitude of values – from liberal to conservative – but I do not respect Trump or the criminals who enable him.

The Biden-Harris announcement feels good, like maybe this national nightmare is coming to an end. Maybe we can get back to understanding we are all in this together. Maybe we can gather to celebrate decency and civility, ethics, respect for science and diversity, agreeing to disagree.

I’m practicing visualization. I can see myself dancing in the street. Oh, and I might need a “Nasty Woman” t-shirt.