More cannabis balm, please

Back in the kitchen this week making more cannabis balm. I first wrote about my experience making cannabis topicals here and thought I’d share an update.

In my first post, I mentioned that I gifted free samples to my focus group — two neighbors. They are wonderful people but apparently slackers when it comes to focus group norms. I’ve heard nothing. However, I’ve been using it twice a day, and it’s life-changing. Dale has been using it on arthritis in his hands, and he said it helps a lot.

It’s kind of crazy how much I use — it seems like practically my whole body is crying out for help. I really need a paint roller. But here’s my routine:

  • Knees (routine problematic knees)
  • Spine (bulging discs, etc. common in older adults)
  • Left hip (sciatica related to the bulging discs)
  • Mastectomy scars (post-mastectomy pain and inflammation, especially around the lymph nodes)
  • Elbows (too much golf)

I’m pretty active, and using cannabis balm on creaky body parts keeps me moving with minimal pain. I notice it if I miss a dose or two. I told Dale if you’re not using it twice a day, you’re wasting it, so now I have him on board and we’re going through more.

No problem. I have all the stuff, so it’s easier this time around. And this time around, no freebies for the neighbors, so it should last longer.

If you are not a cannabis user and don’t want to be, I still urge you to consider cannabis topicals if they are legal in your state. This is medicine, and it can make a real difference. You will not get high, although you may turn up positive on a drug test.

Some people swear by CBD, which is a cannabinoid in the cannabis plant that doesn’t get you high. Pure CBD products are for sale in all states, I believe. The literature says CBD works better with at least small doses of THC, which is the cannabinoid that does have the potential to get you high. The two working together is called the entourage effect. But if all you can get is 100 percent CBD, I think it’s worth a shot.

I’ll close with kind of a funny anecdote. I played golf last week with some men in their 70s. I didn’t know them. I showed up as a single and they paired me up with a threesome. So, the one guy is complaining about his aches and pains and said he has to get in the hot tub for 10 minutes to loosen up before he can play golf.

I said, well, I use cannabis cream. He’s like, where do you get that? I said the local dispensary sells it, but I make it myself. He asked if I got the recipe off the Internet, and I said yes. He said, you know what? I might try that. I’ve got some old pot laying around.

Making noise about aging

I’m comfortably retired, healthy and active. We eat fantastic food we cook ourselves, buy wine at the local vineyard and fresh produce from the farmer’s market. There’s world-class beauty in every direction, yet getting out of the car yesterday, I heard myself grunt and groan as though I were miserable.

I can hike for miles, yet getting out of the Honda is a bridge too far?

I asked Dale. “I don’t know,” he said with a heavy sigh, “but we both do it all the time.” To be honest, I noticed Dale’s excessive noise. He’ll be pulling a pot out of the cupboard, and then you hear all this ugh, huh, whoo. Heart attack? Stroke? Aliens?

Are you OK?

Yes! Stop asking me that.

Sure, but try not to act like you’re dying. Unless you really are, and then you’d better tell me or I’ll kill you myself.

Maybe it’s just part of aging. Old people noises? But it doesn’t matter, because we both agreed we’re not going to do it anymore. Oh, there will be those who say it’s impossible to quit, that grunting, groaning and heavy sighs are unavoidable. Yet … I feel certain we purred like finely tuned machines while hiking among the Sequoias last weekend.

As for quitting, we’ll see. I’m thinking abstinence will be hard for Dale, who is not what we’ll call task-oriented. He might think he wants to stop, but that moment will pass, and then he’ll be proud of his little noises. He’ll brag about them at parties, like he saw Janis at Woodstock.

On the other hand, I feel certain I can nip this in the bud. You give me a goal, and I will die trying, even if I make unpleasant sounds along the way.

What do you think? Are these annoying audibles a biological response hard-wired into our aging bodies or a habit we can unlearn?