I’ve had a jones for writing since I was a little kid. Some of it was about making my voice heard, putting my stake in the ground, as I grew up with parents who were mostly disengaged, and I had a hard time developing a strong sense of self. That, and because I was bad at math.
At 66, I believe I’ve finally let go of demons and old resentments and am happily enjoying my hard-earned retirement. If I can ignore the pandemic, politics and pandemic politics, life is good. And when things are good, the urge to write seems to fade. Just chill, I tell myself. The less said, the better.
Then I go down into this rabbit hole and think, well, I already suck at so many things, and I should only have to suck at one thing at a time. Maybe I should pull the plug on the blog.
And yet she persists. Why? Well, it’s kind of like the John Lee Hooker song, Boogie Chillen.
One night I was layin’ down
I heard mama and papa talkin’
I heard papa tell mama let that boy boogie-woogie
It’s in him and it got to come out
It’s in me, and it got to come out. I’ll continue to have some hits and misses along the way, but that seems to mirror just about everything else in life, doesn’t it? All things considered, I think it’s important for all of us to remember the entire journey is a practice run.
And so, we return to the stuff I try best to ignore. The pandemic, politics and pandemic politics.
I swim in a heated outdoor pool at a health club. The water is reasonably warm, but I’m always cold, so afterward I hop slide gently into the hot tub to warm up. Yesterday, there was another guy in there, about my age or a bit older, plenty of distance from me, but I could tell he was trying to figure out a way to start a conversation. I kept my mouth shut.
He finally asked if I was a marathon swimmer. That seemed innocuous enough. I said no, I only swim about 30 to 45 minutes a couple of times a week because physical activity helps me manage pain.
Dumb! Too much information. What about no, and then a full stop?
The pain comment set him off on his Marine Corps experiences, and it was a very dark conversation, indeed. I just listened. I finally said, well, maybe pain is like Covid, we have to learn to live with it.
That set him off on Covid and mask requirements. All I said was, seriously, masks are the least of my worries. He spewed something about the Bill of Rights, and I asked if he wore a seatbelt. He was a big guy, and suddenly he emerged from the hot tub like Shamu, said that was a ridiculous comparison and proceeded to socially distance himself into the locker room.
This is not my first unpleasant hot tub conversation. It’s like the Wild West in there. I do think there are a lot of angry people who were marginally managing their lives, and Covid blew up all their coping mechanisms. Now, all bets are off. I’ve got to learn to give one-word responses so I don’t end up engaging in these shenanigans.
As for living with Covid, for the first time since December 2020, Dale and I ate in a restaurant! We’ve talked about it but could never quite summon the strength. Dale tends to be non-committal, so after two-plus years of yeah, maybe, I finally said, “I’m going to have lunch out on Tuesday. Would you like to join me?”
It actually went uphill from there. He asked me to cut his hair beforehand. I got dolled up and wore real clothes. It’s an upscale restaurant, but I didn’t think Taco Bell would be a good dry run.
We had planned to eat outside, but it was cold and windy, so we reluctantly went inside. The atmosphere was lovely, and we had the dining area practically to ourselves. We each had a Bloody Mary, extra spicy, please, and we shared two appetizers – Kung Pao Calamari and Tuna Wonton Nachos.
With tip, it was $67.77. Not cheap, and you know I’m not good at math, but I counted 786 days of not eating out. Is that about 8 cents a day?
It was a nice outing, and now we are trying to develop a long-term strategy for living with this thing. We don’t want to get stupid just because Omicron is fading, but we need to be less risk-averse than we’ve been. How are you assessing risk?
Here’s some important retirement information. Understand your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and work with them. It would seem dropping ideas on Dale doesn’t work. I need to make specific plans and invite him to join me – I think Dale preferred it that way, at least I got a yes out of him, although he did suggest I was easy for coming home with him after the first date.
I hope you continue writing your blog. I enjoy hearing what you think and learning what you’re doing. I’m always glad when I see your blog in my inbox.
Thank you — that will keep me going for at least another year!
Oh do please keep writing your blog, even if you don’t write as often. Your blog is the only “retirement” blog I’ve kept. Your writing is direct, no holds barred, entertaining, and I often learn something from it. After all, I probably wouldn’t have found Curable if not for your mention of it. And although I’m not “cured” (yet, smile), it has definitely reduced my pain level and has thus made me less of a pain to be around.
I too, am trying to figure out how to navigate doing more inside activities around the virus. Because we live in such a foodie town, I have my doubts as to finding any restaurant uncrowded. And being a tourist town, we are still in the moderately high level of Covid infections, despite being a highly vaccinated State. So we’re not ready yet to eat indoors, but I’m hoping that that time will come soon. During warm weather, we’ve done a lot of eating at restaurants outside. And although I will continue to wear a mask at indoor settings, I’m ready to attend my Fiber Arts Guild and Rose Society meetings in person instead of via Zoom. As our intrepid Rose Society leader said about our next meeting (which is in a very large room and we are only 12 attending at this point):
“ The governor has removed the mask mandate for indoor activity. We will honor the new regulation for our meeting. However, persons who feel more comfortable in wearing a mask are free to continue with the practice. Always honor and respect your fellow man. Keep it simple.”
Despite the new “no mask mandate” I was pleased to find all the grocery store employees and shoppers wearing masks when I was at Sprouts yesterday. I really didn’t expect that.
First, I’m so pleased your pain level is reduced. That’s a big win. Second, thanks for the positive feedback. I’m not going to quit!
As for navigating Covid, it’s hard to know what to do. Until this week, we hadn’t even eaten at a restaurant outside. As the weather warms up and the numbers continue to drop, I’m sure we’ll be out and about much more frequently. Our mask mandates have been lifted here in California, and now it’s a mix. But we’re still wearing them when we go inside.
I love, “Always honor and respect your fellow man. Keep it simple.”
I am cautious but I have been eating out. We are required to show vaccine cards and some restaurants have partitions between tables. I’m not willing to travel yet. So far I feel comfortable in restaurants. Still wearing masks.
Hope you continue writing your blog. You have a unique perspective.
We definitely don’t want to fly, but we are maybe ready to drive somewhere, stay in a hotel and eat at a restaurant. I say that, but it’s going to be a leap of faith. I would love it if we had to show vaccine cards!
Hot tub conversation, what is it with some people. I have a story. I was in a hot tub late 90’s, four or five of us were chatting. One said to a young guy, “you live in Long Beach right?” “Yeah a condo on Ocean Blvd.”. These are the high rise condos very nice, but the defense industry slowdown of the 90’s made them really good long term buys. Next question “don’t you work for Kingston Technologies?” Yeah. “. Did you work there when they paid the bonuses?”
In December 1996 the two people who started Kingston Technologies gave $100 million to their 550 employees with an average gift of $130,000 with the minimum $50,000. The founders were so appreciative of who helped them build the company. Yes, the founders were immigrants.
The fact that this stranger asked this guy if he was a beneficiary of that gift was so rude. The guy shrugged it off with a humble attitude, he saw right through the envy.
There are both weirdos and good people in this world
What a story! There must be something about the hot water releasing inhibitions. Kingston sounds like a great company!
The “emerged from the hot tub like Shamu” had me laughing out loud. But, I was thinking just this morning that I’m taking more risks already myself. I ate out twice this week, both indoors. Usually I was pushing for outdoor seating and even then rarely eating outside the home. Why suddenly this week twice indoors?
I think folks around here are just ready to be back to more normal. Almost everyone I know is vaccinated and boosted. I realized we all took masks the other evening in case we had to walk through the restaurant (we didn’t – our table was right near the door – small place). I still wear a mask in stores because the staff is wearing them. I’m really still not sure why I ended up with 2 indoor eating spaces this week!
So glad you got a good laugh. He really did remind me of Shamu.
Wow, twice in a week! Go you! I can see us trying it again soon. Our options will open up as the weather warms. We didn’t take advantage of that the first two years, but three time’s the charm.
I would definitely be bringing up touchy subjects just to clear out the hot tub! When confronted with reasoning, there is a chance the illogical will scatter and for me, it would be worth taking that chance. 😁
Please don’t give up the blog, Donna! I enjoy your posts very much.
Deb
I hadn’t thought of clearing the hot tub as a strategy, but I like it!
Please don’t give up your blog! I very much enjoy reading your entries. And yes, hot tubs can be a bad place – from meeting strange men to picking up UTIs! So glad you got dressed up and went to a restaurant. I did that recently and it felt great! 😷
Well, you had me at UTIs. Maybe I can get warm some other way. Glad you were able to dress up and go out. It did feel good, didn’t it?
Hi, Donna – I am glad to read that you took the plunge and went to a nice restaurant for lunch. After 786 days you more than owe that to yourself. I’m glad that it was a nice outing. I agree that we all need to figure out how to live our lives without wildly compromising our health and safety.
There was a good opinion piece in the Washington Post that talked about risk:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2022/02/18/covid-odds-unmasking-indoor-gathering/
I hope you’ll continue writing. I don’t always comment, but enjoy reading. We haven’t been out to eat yet, but I’m having sticker shock about so many recent purchases, I’ll have to remember to break the cost down like you did with your meal.
Yes, the sticker shock is bad. When I used to spend too much money on clothes, a co-worker used to say I should figure out cost-per-wear. Thanks for the encouragement!!
Hey Donna, this post was especially funny the way you described things.
Just for the record, I do give one word answers or no answers at all and people still want to tell me their entire life story. I still don’t know why strangers yak to me.
They talk to you because you are charming. I can only learn from you.
I’m glad you found some humor in my mutterings.
Well, you certainly know how to clear a room, or at least, a tub. But it’s a talent that can come in handy.
OK, this made me laugh out loud. I’m an expert at clearing the hot tub!
Funny, I’ve been thinking of going to a local popular restaurant lately to eat something that hasn’t been prepared by me. I will pick a time when it isn’t too busy, say 4pm and I would go alone. Yes, I will ask for a table for one. Risk elimination is a lofty goal but I can reduce risk. Then it’s a matter off accepting the consequences. Donna, your blog is truly one of my favorites. The humor added to the no bs perspective appeals to me.
I like your strategy. I was fully prepared to go and eat by myself if Dale didn’t accept my invitation. He’s not big on lunch anyway, so I may plan solitary dates from time to time.
Thank you for being a loyal reader! I appreciate the positive reinforcement.
Please don’t stop blogging. I get so much entertainment out of the way you write!!
Oh, thank you so very much!
I’ve not heard that term before “having a jones for….” I really rather like it and shall try to use it asap 🙂
I agree, if there’s stuff in you wanting to come out, you’ve got to keep on blogging. When you need to take a rest, or you’re feeling at ease with nothing to blog about, breaks can be had. I think when you want to stop – really want to – then you will without looking back. Till then, enjoy it. Your readers enjoy it 🙂
Must be an American thing, but I’m happy to share it with you! Your blogging advice is spot on. I appreciate your perspective.