The road to Paso Robles

A word of warning to retired couples:

Travel planning can be treacherous, and I implore you to stay calm. Nothing good happens when you get angry. And why would a person get angry when planning fun activities, you ask? Because usually one person is the hard-working travel agent in this relationship, and the other person is a pain the ass.

We’ll call him the client.

Yes, now that we’re starting to leave the house again, travel planning has defaulted to me. On the heels of our successful jaunt to Mendocino, I was feeling a little smug and thought it would be nice to plan another road trip for June. Even though we thought we were done with the coast, we both wanted to give it another go.

Beach, we can’t quit you.

Dale, the client, didn’t have any other ideas or demands, so I happily went to work. After a bit of research, I proposed a three-night trip to the Central Coast. I consulted with him at every stage of planning, and we agreed to stay in Morro Bay. From there, we’d take a day trip to Paso Robles for wine tasting and another day to see Hearst Castle. Dale has never been, and even though it’s a tourist trap, I think we would enjoy it.

I presented the client with a range of hotel choices, dinner options and timetables. We agreed on everything, and I booked it. Then I booked the cat sitter. All was right with the world.

As we sat of an evening enjoying a libation, I mentioned one of my golf buddies is somewhat of a wine expert and just got back from Paso Robles. Perhaps I could consult with him on which wineries to visit?

The client said and I quote, “To tell the truth, I’m getting tired of going to wineries.”

Imagine my head exploding at the speed of light.

WHAT???????????

He was all about how he’s entitled to have an opinion, which is technically true, but I just spent two days going through every nitty gritty detail with him, and he never once thought to say wineries were not appealing to him at this particular moment in time? Maybe another time, when we feel like dropping a wad of money on shit we don’t care about?

It turns out I hadn’t cracked the code. As the designated travel agent, one must learn these things. Just because I said we could or would take a day trip to Paso Robles doesn’t mean we must take a day trip to Paso Robles. He thought those were options for him to consider over the next few weeks, and he was waiting for me to present more.

I’m more task-oriented. I wasn’t thinking, oh, how much time and energy can I squander presenting the client with a cornucopia of amusements to consider? I was thinking, nailed it! Done!

As it happens, I was just about out of oxygen and bleeding from the brain when I said I was going to start calling him Big Bird, because he waits until the end and then comes in and craps all over everything.

That was harsh, I agree, and certainly, I will not attract new clients with this kind of attitude. In my heart of hearts, I know you can’t say these things in your outside voice.

Of course, I don’t want new clients. I just want this one to speak up sooner. When I finally relaxed and heard him out, I found myself in agreement. As is often the case, I could totally see his point. I mean, there’s more to California than wine, right?

Part of me wanted to cancel the whole damned thing, but the trip is on. I went back through the travel books, and there’s plenty to keep us amused with or without Paso Robles. Which, by the way, is still on the table, with wine or without wine … but not a done deal.

A bit nebulous for me, but there you have it. The road to Paso Robles.