Category: Rambling Thursday

Less food, longer life?

Yesterday’s New York Times featured an article about calorie restriction and intermittent fasting – and whether they increase longevity in humans. It seems to work in animals, but they’re not so sure about people.

Part of the problem is cutting calories by 25 percent or more is difficult for mere mortals. Animals in cages don’t have a choice. Plus, there’s not enough information out there to confirm whether these tactics will help you live longer.

While I want a long and healthy life, I want to enjoy it with delicious food and can’t see going through all that deprivation just to sneak in a few more years. I always love the comments section, and readers did not disappoint. Here are some of my favorites:

  • For years I’ve eaten one vegetarian meal a day at lunchtime with a small snack in the evening. Now I’m almost ninety in excellent health. What has it gotten me? The chance to meet the coming Apocalypse.
  • I have restricted my caloric intake by 10% (but cutting added sugars), and practice intermittent fasting (16hrs;8hrs) 100% of the time. My triglycerides went down by 50%, and I reduced what little bit of joy remains in my life by nearly 90%.
  • If a person reduces her caloric intake, will she live longer or will it just seem longer?
  • The bottom line: Who knows? My 95-year-old mother has been overweight all her life, is still mentally sharp, lives independently, and looks about 80. Her skinny mother died at 63. I’m just hoping these things don’t skip a generation.

I said I wasn’t going to dwell on my back problems, because I know, it’s like, take a number, pal. But I’m hoping readers will appreciate progress reports on my treatment in case you are in the same boat. I’ve done a lot of work on the mind-body connection and how emotions impact our perceptions of pain, and I do believe that helped, but it’s not enough. Surgery and prescription drugs are options I’m hoping to avoid, so my current program is physical therapy.

The MRI of my back looks like a high school science project. I’m still not convinced they know what causes the pain, but so far the medical professionals have zoomed in on severe spinal stenosis at L4-L5. Most of my pain is not in the back, but in the left buttocks and down through my left leg.

It has been six weeks, and the first five were grueling. As I’ve previously reported, the exercises are designed to strengthen my core and presumably take pressure off the back. A month in, and I saw no noticeable improvement. I only hung in there because my massage therapist said I seemed more flexible.

At the start of week six, I suddenly noticed my butt didn’t hurt. Everything else is feeling pretty good, too. It’s quite possible I have stomach muscles. I feel more solid, if that makes any sense.

No Tylenol, no Advil. I complained to the PT that some of the exercises make my troublesome knee worse, and he threw in a couple more exercises he said would help both my knees and my back. One of them is lunges, which I thought would make the knee worse, but to my surprise, I’ve seen a remarkable improvement.

My plan is to keep going. I figure this is my big chance to do whatever I can to mitigate my symptoms long-term, and I don’t want to squander it. The PT said he would add some weights in at the appropriate time, and I’m excited about that. Not really excited, I guess, but I like the idea of increasing muscle as I age.

These exercises take about an hour a day, so I’ve just come to accept it’s one of the mandatory tasks associated with my new job – which is taking care of myself in retirement.

In irrelevant but possibly interesting entertainment news, I discovered a moral dilemma as I was watching TV. Warning – spoiler alert.

I subscribe to PBS Masterpiece and decided to try watching The Royal Flying Doctor Service. A woman doctor recovering from a messy breakup moves to Australia to work with the team that provides people in the remote Outback with medical care.

First day on the job – unknown, unproven, etc. and she beds one of the guys on the team. I’m anything but a puritan, but I was deeply disappointed and haven’t watched any more of it. I mean, that’s just bad form.

However, I also started watching Bones from the beginning. She’s a genius forensic anthropologist working with Booth, a hunky FBI agent, to solve mysteries of human remains. You can see where the relationship is going, so I cheated and went to the episode guide, only to discover it all happens in Season 6.

I’m at the beginning of Season 2, and now it’s like I’m on a mission to catch them in the act. I don’t know why I was so judgmental about the flying doctor but can’t wait for Bones and Booth to get this done already.

Such is entertainment, which beats politics hands-down. However, you know me, I can’t resist a political jab. If the Supremes say  the president has unlimited immunity, we are all in trouble, and it won’t matter who is or isn’t having sex on TV.

In closing, I offer up the following AI video for your viewing pleasure.

Spring … so cruel

Once again, the bitter disappointment of spring is upon us. I hate that you get these beautiful warm days only to have it foul up again with rain and cold. Yes, I know that is the nature of spring and weather in general, but I think fall does a better job as a season. Much more gradual and consistent.

Still, last year I made a conscious effort to fully embrace the diversity of weather, so welcome, rain and cold. You rotten bastards.

We’re doing dinner Triple O or OOO (On Our Own), For Dale, that always means my homemade tacos from the freezer. My tacos are fried crispy, and Dale does a fantastic job of resuscitating them. I won’t make new ones until the freezer stash is gone, so he’s motivated.

I mix it up, but tonight I decided to eat my last piece of birthday lasagna. That’s from September! While I was rooting around in the freezer, I saw two sad and lonely pieces of my birthday cake, so I pulled out one of those for good measure. A little rain and cold deserves coconut layer cake. For breakfast.

While we’re on the topic of food, Dale corned a beef brisket. The first night we ate it boiled with potatoes, carrots, onions and cabbage. The second night he made Reuben sandwiches on his homemade rye bread, which by the way, makes delicious toast in the morning.

Sometimes I like rye toast with just butter, and sometimes I add a little bitter orange marmalade. Dale thinks it’s weird that I use both butter and marmalade, but I think it’s a great combination! Peanut butter is also good on rye, but for some reason, I don’t like peanut butter on sourdough.

Since many bloggers report on Thankful Thursday, I will share that I’m grateful we’re both obsessed with food and cooking. Aside from eating exceptionally well, I also believe cooking at home most of the time makes for healthy aging. I rarely eat any kind of processed or packaged food, and it’s my contention eating reasonably “clean” helps with weight management. I know it’s different for everyone, but that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

I had my first-ever facial this week! I liked it very much and plan to go every six weeks or so to see if it makes a difference. I’m low-maintenance when it comes to beauty routines, and Tammy, the esthetician, totally got that. I said I’m not looking to get any younger, but I’d like to keep my skin looking reasonably good as I age.

She used very light microdermabrasion as part of the facial, and my skin tone definitely looks more even – lighter dark spots, less red. My skin also looks brighter and feels moisturized.

Tammy didn’t push products. She thought my CeraVe stuff from the drugstore was fine. The only thing I purchased was a bottle of Vitamin C serum. That goes under the sunscreen in the morning. She gave me a bag full of samples to try. One is a tinted sunscreen. I used that yesterday for golf, and aside from the sun protection, I liked how it made my skin look.

On the aches and pains front, I’ve decided to cut back on the rhetoric. As I was getting out of the car for golf yesterday, possibly grunting and groaning, one of the women who also deals with sciatica was getting out of her car. We’ve often compared notes. She said, “How are you?” And I said, “Hanging in there …” I’m not sure if I was going to elaborate or not, but she quickly said GREAT! and exited the scene at a high rate of speed.

I think that was a message to find something else to talk about.

On the entertainment front, I read March Violets, the first book in the Bernie Gunther series by Philip Kerr. Bernie is a detective in 1936 Berlin. The writing is quite sharp with that sassy hard-boiled dialogue we often associate with crime writers from that era – Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammet, etc.  

Anyway, I liked it a lot, but that Hitler stuff is pretty depressing. Not to go all political on you, but I do feel Fascism is a real threat these days, and not just in the U.S. So, I have to decide if I want to continue with the books. I also finally read All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr. Set during World War II, there’s also a fair amount of Nazi bullshit in there, but for some reason, it didn’t bother me as much in this novel.

Next on the reading docket are all the novels of Dashiell Hammet. Conveniently, they’re relatively short and all compiled into one book. I’ve probably read them all at some point, but I’m refreshing my memory before I watch Monsieur Spade.

When I first retired, I had a hard time reading during the day, but now I’m a pro. I still won’t watch TV during the day, though. I burned through all my favorite shows on PBS Masterpiece, and I’m currently back to Netflix with Resident Alien, a hilarious but kind of dark show about an alien who is sent to Earth to kill everyone, but it all goes terribly wrong.

Happy it’s just a cold

I came down with a cold – tested for Covid twice 24 hours apart like a good girl – and both tests came back negative. One presumes it’s a garden variety cold. I don’t feel horrible, but I don’t feel great. Still, I’m happy it’s just a cold.

My sister got Covid for the first time last week, and she is doing well now, but she was quite ill, and I wouldn’t trade places with her for anything.

Oh, for the days when E. coli was the worst thing you brought home from the grocery store!

So much has changed since this virus came into our lives. I always had an aversion to large groups, and I felt bad about being somewhat anti-social, but now I just roll with it. So-called experts will say that’s well and good now, but you’ll die of loneliness. I don’t know. I’ve read about a lot of people who lead solitary lives, and they seem pretty happy to me.

For in-person social connections, I have the women’s golf club, but that’s the extent of it. Against my better judgment, I agreed to be secretary for two years, so there’s no turning back. One of the women started calling me Madam Secretary, and I must say, I rather like it.  

We’re a week out from Thanksgiving. Dale ordered a fresh Diestel turkey – 14 pounds – and we eventually eat every bit of it. I’m known in these parts as Side Dish Mama … which means I will be making green beans, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. I’m also making apple pie and homemade vanilla ice cream.

They sure are proud of those Madagascar vanilla beans. We ought to banish the term plain vanilla since there’s nothing plain about vanilla these days. I needed two beans, which is what came in a jar, and I think it was $15. But I made the same ice cream last year, and it’s worth every penny. I suppose I will make it a few days ahead in case something horrible happens and I have to get some from the store. Nothing like a positive attitude.

Apple pie used to give me fits, but I think I’ve got it now. For apples, I use half Granny Smith and half Honeycrisp. For crust, half butter and half lard. Plus, my beloved Emile Henry ceramic pie pan.

After reading the book about ultra-processed foods, I avoid Crisco. Good quality lard is your friend! We like lard from the farmer’s market, or we buy US Dreams leaf lard on Amazon. Most of the stuff you see at the grocery store is hydrogenated.

Dale and I usually drink Pinot Noir with our Thanksgiving dinner, and we have a nice one from Navarro in the queue. We visited the winery in Mendocino County a year or so ago and loved their wines. They have good deals for 1 cent shipping if you live in a place where they can ship wine. We especially like their Gewurztraminer and other whites.

Oh, and for art, I’m happy to present Number 41. It might be one of my favorites. See if any of you New Mexico art fans can identify a little inspiration on the right side of the board. My rendition is pretty pitiful, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

A reader recently said she was considering art as a retirement hobby but couldn’t draw much more than stick figures. Just so you know, I’m still terrible at drawing freehand, although I do like my quirky cats. I traced and transferred most of the images on this piece. Once I have a penciled outline, I burn them in with my pyrography tool and eventually paint.

If you are inexperienced at art, I think the trick is to say, ok, I’m going to try art, and I will show up with whatever I have. It’s your art, so it doesn’t have to be anything other than what you are able to create.

Rambling Thursday

I bought a new car this week. My 2010 Ford Fusion Hybrid was a great car, and I gave it a proper farewell, but it was time to move on. The new one is a 2023 Honda Accord Hybrid EX-L. I had to wait for it, as they weren’t on the lots anywhere around here, and the first ones that came in did not have the blind spot monitoring system. That was a deal-breaker for me.

It’s a nice sedan with a real trunk for all my golf stuff, and it should average about 50 miles per gallon. After much deliberation, I decided I wasn’t ready to make the leap to electric yet.

The best part of the purchasing process was using the Costco Auto Program. If you have a Costco card, you can take advantage of prices Costco has negotiated with various automobile manufacturers or dealers. That saved me thousands of dollars.

The best part of completing the process is that I will not have to talk to a car salesperson again for at least 10 years. The worst part of owning this car is learning how to use all the new technology. Android Auto. Streaming music. Voice-activated telephone calls. I’m sure it will be fabulous. But right now it makes my brain hurt.

Our kitchen scale finally quit, so we’re on the lookout for a new one. Any suggestions? Dale remembered buying it, and he claims it’s 30 years old! Another sad farewell to a trusted performer. I was going to post a picture of it, but the scale actually looks like it died from filth.

Although I still measure stuff, I like when recipes include weights instead of volumetric measurements. I prefer grams over ounces, as I believe they are more precise. Especially when making bread or other baked goods, it’s great to just keeping zeroing it out and adding more ingredients to the bowl. Fewer dishes!

While we’re on the subject of food, I’ve rediscovered cottage cheese. I’ve been eating it because I like it, and it’s a good source of protein. I prefer whole milk dairy products. The skim milk versions don’t taste right to me. I mean, duh. And I believe whole milk dairy products are actually quite good for you. I’ve been trying different brands of cottage cheese, and today bought some of the best I’ve ever tasted. Kalona Organic Whole Milk Cottage Cheese. There’s a thin layer of cream at the top. I poured that off because I like a slightly drier texture. I had a hard time not eating the whole tub.

It feels like this post is a little disjointed. Then I remembered … it’s Rambling Thursday! I’m blaming it on a five-hour golf round yesterday with temperatures approaching 100 by the time we finished. It was a dumb thing to do, but golf is like crack, especially lately, as I’ve been playing rather well.

That said, I need to be smarter about dealing with the heat, and I will not be doing that again anytime soon. One day last week I teed off at 6:45 a.m. to avoid the worst of it, and aside from getting up and out the door quite early, it was rather enjoyable. Back in time to have lunch or even a nap! I’ve also decided it’s time to wear a rash guard when I swim laps since it’s an outdoor pool.

I’m not crazy about the extra layer, but every now and then I do the smart thing. It seems to me survivors might not be good at the smart thing, but we mostly avoid the big dumb ones. Sometimes, that’s all it takes.  

The reality of spring

Spring always disappoints me. By this time, I’m ready for the warmer weather, but the cold and rain can’t quite quit us. My neighbor, high on life and all that, likes to say rain is wonderful! This is the way it’s supposed to be! Relish the cold – it will be hot soon enough!

OK, Earth Girl, message received, but I’m still pissed.

It rained Tuesday, but I walked anyway. I’m trying to increase my mileage as a test to see if my body will hold up for a long-distance walk of some sort. I thought I’d build up slowly (months) and eventually try to walk 10 miles three days in a row. What do you think walkers? Good plan? Bad plan?

I’m on a mission now, and I was like, rain, you can’t stop me! It actually wasn’t so bad.

Yesterday was golf, and it was cold and miserable. I played very badly. My body just won’t move properly when I’m freezing. I’m never happy about bad golf, but I have evolved. I’m no longer embarrassed. Sometimes I play great golf, and sometimes I play horrible golf. What you see is what you get.

Today is another rainy one, so in the spirit of accepting the reality of spring, I decided to make the most of it. A little Covid vaccination to kick things off. We got our second benevolent booster in the morning, but after that, I was a free agent. I went to the library and loaded up on books.

I paused as I walked across the library parking lot and reflected on the reality of nature’s cool wetness fucking up my glasses.

The “Lucky Day” stack had Life on the Mississippi: An Epic American Adventure by Rinker Buck. His previous book, The Oregon Trail, was great, so I have high hopes for this one.

As a crime fiction aficionado, I have been remiss in my Don Winslow reading. He is among the best. I absolutely loved his earlier works but am afraid to read the border trilogy, which deals with the war on drugs. I’m not sure I can get through the violence. I decided to try The Force, which is about the NYPD.

I love the library for many reasons, but I especially love the no-risk element for a book I’m uncertain about.  Oh, and I’m on the waiting list for Small Mercies, Dennis Lehane’s new book. He’s another great crime writer if you haven’t read him yet. Mystic River is maybe his most famous, probably due to the movie, but I would start with A Drink Before the War.

Then I came home and consoled myself with a tuna melt. I made it in a gratin dish without the bread, and it was just delicious. I do pride myself on eating very little processed food and was disappointed to learn canned tuna is considered a processed food. I thought, well, if I’m going to die, a tuna melt is not a bad way to go.

That said, I am going to pay more attention to labels. I thought ice cream was better than, say, candy, since ice cream is a real food, except they add all kinds of shit to it, so it’s not exactly pristine, either. I’m not going to get fanatic about what I eat, but I do want to know what’s fueling the engine. I might still go for death food, but I’ll think of it as informed consent.

After that, I went out into the garage and worked on my art for a bit. That usually makes me feel good.

I really need to clean the bathroom, but it’s not high on my list. I have all those new books, and I’m thinking it’s time to get started.

Exercise for introverts

A chair yoga room of one’s own.

A guy I play golf with took it upon himself to share his thoughts about my personality.

He said I seemed intelligent and independent, but I was aloof and didn’t show enough interest in other people. I need to ask more questions, he said, if I want people to like me. I just nodded.

Hmmm, so not interested in your thoughts on this subject.

For the record, I’ve never been a social animal, just a few close friends, but people seem to like me well enough … as in not universally despised. That’s a distinction I’m rather proud of.

My buddy is extroverted, randomly chats up people on the golf course and asks a million questions, some kind of personal, and although I find it annoying, it’s not a deal-breaker. As an introvert, I try to avoid the talkers, but somehow we started playing together regularly. He’s a decent fellow, and I don’t want to work all that hard to find someone new.

I actually did play with someone new this week and thought, what the hell? Ask a question. The problem is questions lead to answers, and if you get a talker, sometimes those answers are more than you bargained for. Then there’s always the possibility of sliding down that slippery slope to conversation.

Seems like I prefer exercise without conversation. I suppose that’s why I’m drawn to swimming and long walks alone.

Anyway, my buddy and I are supposed to play again next week, and I’m hoping he’ll have moved onto the next person to fix. I’m not going to apologize for being an introvert. As always, I try to be a pleasant and encouraging partner. No temper tantrums. A laugh, a smile, a thumbs up. Great putt! Wow, you smoked that drive!

Don’t get me wrong. I do enjoy people. Let’s get a beer afterward, and you can talk all you want.

I don’t know why he felt compelled to share all that, but in the end, I’m glad he did. In a strange way, it was validating. As I reflected on his comments, I’d say he wasn’t far off on my personality assessment. The part he got wrong was thinking I should do something to change it.

Feeling comfortable in your old flawed skin is one of the great pleasures of aging.

Chair Yoga

Yet another great pleasure is discovering something new that makes you happy. A recent addition to my happiness bucket is chair yoga. It feels good mentally and physically, and it’s reducing my back and leg pain.

I did the 7-day free trial at YogaVista.tv and tested a variety of YouTube videos. I liked Yoga Vista a lot, but one of the instructors had a voice that reminded me of anesthesia, so I didn’t renew. I looked for similar sites that had a wide selection of chair yoga practices but couldn’t find any.

After a week or so of random YouTube videos, I decided Yoga Vista was a better deal and signed up for $9.99 a month. There are lots of instructors, so I can easily avoid the drip, drip, drip of anesthesia voice.

While gentle is not a word typically associated with me, I am trying to take the less is more approach to this new endeavor. My goal is to stick with it forever and watch myself grow stronger and more flexible over time. Some of the workouts also address balance, which is important, because we don’t bounce like we used to.

I still attend the in-person class at my health club when I can, but I also set up an area in our guest bedroom, where I can take my laptop and follow the instructors on the screen. I like to think of it as a chair yoga room of one’s own, except I share it with the occasional guest and Dale’s war books. The cat seems quite mesmerized by the whole thing.

Some of the chair exercises are sitting and some are standing, using the chair for support. I have just enough room to accommodate all the movements.

Kind of perfect for an introvert, don’t you think?

In search of pleasantly predictable

Exercise is a big part of my retired life, and right now it’s in a state of flux. My lower back issues are under control, and just when I thought everything was pleasantly predictable, the universe is making me adapt to change.

I hate it when that happens.

Let’s start with swimming. One good thing about the pandemic was the introduction of lane reservations at the club where I swim. I guess they decided the pandemic is over, and now it’s every man for himself. No reservations. Shared lanes. Complete mayhem.

I have some serious thinking to do. I really don’t get my money’s worth out of the membership anyway, but it’s a great pool, I love to swim and believe it’s good for my body, so I accept the price. Now I’m not sure it’s a reasonable trade-off. I could take my chances with getting a lane, but I’ve encountered some pushy people out there, and I’m not at all confident in how lane etiquette will play out.

Very stressful.

While I could continue my deep water running in our backyard pool, that window closes by the end of September. Ah, I have another idea. I could check out another part of the club pool and see if my deep water running rig works there, and that pool is heated year-round. And I would only take up a tiny corner of this much-coveted space. But I’m still not sure it’s worth the money.

I’m annoyed. It’s always something. The club also offers gentle yoga and mat Pilates. I’m interested in both, but I’m worried about introducing another variable to my back. Like maybe leave well enough alone?

Then there’s golf. We had our women’s club championship. I’ve struggled with performance anxiety for years, but I keep trying to work through it and have improved considerably. Still, in the final round, I choked on the front nine and shot a 48.

It was looking as though I wouldn’t even break 90, which for me, is not a good score. I willed myself to relax and just try to enjoy the rest of the round. I tried really hard not to be grumpy and chit-chatted more than usual just to keep it light.

I rarely shoot a low score on the back nine, but I have done it, so I know it’s possible. I figured a 41 would give me an 89, and somehow, the possibility made me feel better. I had a string of pars toward the end and finished with a 39 for a total of 87! Still not my best round ever, but I felt like it was a huge victory for my mental game.

The mental game is my weakness, so after that experience, I thought, let’s build on that success. I bought yet another book on, oh, let’s call it the mental game. I tried some of the mind-over-matter strategies on the driving range with spectacular success. I was on fire! I couldn’t wait to get back out there and put it into action.

Once again, it’s all about expectations. On Monday, I could barely hit the ball. I just cannot understand the gap between the driving range and real golf. It is so frustrating. You’d think with enough practice, I could improve to my satisfaction, but that is not the case.

Anyway, I’m back to just relaxing about golf. I don’t know what else to do. I’m feeling a little worn out anyway, so I may also take a week off. We are experiencing some pretty intense heat, and it wouldn’t hurt me to sit this one out. I’ve never been particularly good about listening to my body, but I did say this was about adapting to change. I said that, right?

Other than my sports drama, all is well. I visited the dermatologist because I didn’t like the looks of a little spot on my face. That spot turned out to be normal age-related nonsense, but there was another spot I didn’t give a hoot about, and that one was pre-cancerous, so she froze it off. Just another reminder that for all intents and purposes, we know nothing! Get checked out.

My sister turned me onto this show I mistakenly believed was free on Amazon Prime. It turns out the first episode was free, but then you have to subscribe to one of the lesser-known streaming services. The show is The Discovery of Witches. I loved it but didn’t want to mess around with Sundance or Shudder.

Instead, I went to the library and checked out the first book in the trilogy … The Discovery of Witches. It’s a great read! I’m almost finished and ready to go for the second book. However, it has just scratched the itch, and now I want to see the TV version. I could skip the subscription thing and buy the first season for about $20, but that seems wasteful to me.

I love all the entertainment content that’s available now, but anti-trust be damned, I wish there was one giant streaming service in the sky. I think Sundance is only $6.99 a month, but it’s just one more thing.

Did I mention I’m grateful these are my biggest issues of the day? The scrubbed Artemis launch brought back a lot of memories from my years in the space business, and while reading about it made me proud to have been involved, the work was intense, and honestly, at this stage of my life, I’d rather be worried about who’s going to fuck up my swim.

So, pleasantly predictable. Perhaps it’s an aspirational thing.

Catching up to technology

I’ve surrendered to the privacy pirates and am enthralled with my new technology toys for music. I signed up for Spotify, paying for premium at $9.99 a month. The choice of music is amazing, and it’s fun to find old tunes you know and love as well as new stuff you’d like to explore but don’t want to buy.

Amazon is another excellent choice, but I tried Spotify first and decided to stick with it.

Next were wireless earbuds. I went with Carole’s recommendation of Samsung Galaxy Buds Live, and they’re great. I accidentally ordered the version bundled with a wireless charger pad. Although I planned to return the wireless charger, I’m sold! I just put the buds in their case and set that on the pad, and the fiesta begins. I can also use the pad to charge my cell phone.

All in all, it would seem I’ve at least partially caught up to this era. My tights from Athleta arrived, and they fit well and are quite stylish. Newly outfitted, I do feel more with it and am even more inspired to walk.

More on the Mind-body connection

My sciatica has improved, although it’s definitely not gone. Even after all the discussion we had here about some of the reservations we share regarding the mind-body connection, I still think it’s worth digging into my emotions to see if any negativity is contributing my physical problems. While I know this doesn’t apply to everyone, I have a history of stress-related illness.

As I said earlier, I’ve dealt with all my family drama, but this week I realized I still have some baggage from work.

Although I had a fine run, I was treated rather badly the last couple of years on the job. It’s a long story, but to extend my career with the company, I was pretty much forced to take a job working for a high-level bully and screamer. Everyone knew, but he delivered results, so they looked the other way.  

There’s more to the story than just him, and it would take another 10 pages to explain how it all went down. I try to think, oh, it was OK, but really, it wasn’t. I was well-compensated, and in the end, I came out way better off financially. The money definitely made retirement possible, but the whole thing still makes me angry.

I took to my journal and wrote all about it. I won’t frighten you with the inner workings of my mind, but putting my deepest feelings on paper helped me understand the role these emotions have on my every day life.

One thing I decided was to reframe how I experience golf. It might not seem like golf could be connected to work. I suspect some of you may be struggling with the same issue. We were so accustomed to performing for the king, that we feel we have to prove ourselves in some other way after we retire.  Whatever it is that drives us, we’d better be good at it.

For me, that was golf. I’ve been playing poorly, but I decided it didn’t matter. I am going to just focus on enjoying the challenges and pleasures of the game. I signed up for this week’s league play with the women.

It was chilly when we started about 9 a.m. but warmed up quickly and was turning into a beautiful day. I was playing OK. Not as well as I normally play, but I was fine and actually enjoying myself. As we walked off the 9th hole, our new leader was standing by with her timer and said we were 10 minutes behind schedule. I kind of wondered if it would come to this, as she sent sort of a snarky note in advance warning us about pace of play.

Much to my surprise, I said in a very calm and kind voice, “I’m done.” Then I explained that I really like her, she is one of my favorite people in the club and I don’t hold this against her in any way, but I have decided that golf under those conditions does not work for me personally. We’re supposed to be having fun out here, and we weren’t slowing anyone down. I added that I play all the time out there with men, and no one ever fucks with them about pace of play.

And then I walked away.

Later, I sent a note to one of my playing partners apologizing for the abrupt departure. She understood, and said they had to wait on the group in front of them on number 10. They took a picture of themselves waiting and texted it to the leader with a note, “So much for 10 minutes.”

Ha! I liked their style and felt a little bad I didn’t hang in there. On the other hand, I believe I did what I needed to do. If you’ve been reading this blog for a bit, you may recall this is not the first time I’ve addressed this achievement fixation and how it impacts life. Not to mention golf! It’s a tricky balance, but I think I’m getting closer to the sweet spot.

Leftover chicken

And that leaves me to chicken. We love roasted chicken and always freeze the carcass to make stock. Dale pulled off all the meat yesterday, so I made a list of food we make with leftovers:

  • Chicken enchiladas
  • Chicken tacos
  • Chicken Divan
  • Chicken Tortilla Soup
  • Chicken in Phyllo with Hazelnuts and Feta
  • Chicken Tetrazzini
  • Chicken Curry with Coconut Milk and Spinach
  • Mini Chicken Pot Pies
  • Chicken Quesadillas

Dale got to vote, and the winner is Mini Chicken Pot Pies. I make three. We split one and freeze the other two. For some bizarre reason, we like chicken pies with French fries. And a salad. We don’t always eat like 10-year-old boys.

I’d better get going. I like to make everything ahead of time and refrigerate until it’s time to cook.

Wishful thinking

Full Retirement Age

My birthday is this month, and I will be 66. My full retirement age for Social Security is 66 and two months. I had been planning to start receiving my monthly payments as soon as I reached full retirement age and was excited about the prospect of a paycheck, but now I’m having second thoughts.

Some financial experts suggest it’s smarter to start withdrawing from your IRA and hold off on Social Security until you reach age 70. According to this NY Times article, living on retirement savings in the early years and holding off on collecting benefits is likely to increase monthly income over a lifetime.

There’s also a discussion about marginal tax rates and provisional income if math is your jam, but I’m a journalism major. No can do.

If I wait until I’m 70, my monthly checks would go up by about $800. It sounds nice, but I’m not sure it’s worth waiting for. With my husband’s military pension and our savings, we are not dependent on Social Security, so I’m inclined to skip all the analysis and just go with what feels right.

I suppose I’ll chat with our financial planner before making my final decision. What variables have you considered as you make this choice?

Sugarfest 2021

In other news, I’ve decided to bake my own birthday cake. I’m going to make the three-layer coconut cake from Sally’s Baking Addiction. Everything about it is totally decadent. Even the buttercream roses on the top are insanely me. The more frosting the better.

However, I watched the video for how to make the roses, and I don’t think I can pull it off. I have some Russian piping tips my sister gave me, and those look easier. I will be watching lots of YouTube videos to build my confidence. Here’s a sample.

While we’re on the subject of baking, I spent a lot of time indoors last week due to the air quality, so I decided to make cookies decorated with royal icing. I have quite the collection of cookie cutters and other paraphernalia.

I haven’t made them in a couple of years, mostly because my wrists were sore the last time I made them, and I wondered if I would even try again. However, my wrists have improved, so I went for it. My lack of practice shows. The icing on the chili pepper is too thick and lumped up in places, and the icing was a little sloppy at the bottom of the ladybug.

Imperfect but cute and delicious. Not a bad thing to be. By the way, I made chocolate dough and added a teaspoon of espresso powder. Next time I’d use a little more. You can’t taste the coffee, but somehow it makes the chocolate taste better. We keep them in the freezer, which helps with portion control!

Golf Giveth and Golf Taketh Away

Yesterday I played golf in what is called an alternate shot tournament. I had a partner, and we took turns teeing off. One of us on odd-numbered holes, and the other on even-numbered holes. Then we took alternate shots until the ball was holed.

On number six, my partner teed off. The shot was plenty long enough but in the left rough. We were still 140 yards out, and it was my turn.

I hit a 7-wood, and we watched it fly toward the green. She thought it got stuck in some thick grass in front of the green, and I thought it hit the green and rolled past the hole. When we got up there, she went one way, and I went the other, and we didn’t see it. I jokingly said, maybe it’s in the hole.

And it was!! So, we had an eagle 2 on a par 4. We would go on to completely fall apart on the back nine, but I will remember that shot for a long time.

Wishful Thinking

I’m feeling hopeful that maybe we are turning the corner on COVID. I mean, not everywhere, but maybe some places? I read today 80 percent of eligible Californians are at least partially vaccinated. In my zip code, about 80 percent are fully vaccinated and another 10 percent have one shot.

That said, our numbers are still terrible. Cases per 10,000 people approaching 40 percent in our county. Yet, there are some case rates in the hundreds, so I guess it’s all comparative. I am shocked by how many people go out and about as though the virus doesn’t exist.

I do wonder if the virus will run out of people to infect. Or maybe Delta will run its course and the virus will subside, transitioning to something more like the seasonal flu. I have no basis for these comments. Perhaps nothing more than wishful thinking.

But you know what? There’s something to be said for wishful thinking. I have been on both sides of the attitude spectrum, and nothing good ever happened when I thought the glass was half-empty.

Lest we get too judgy

Number 21 — my latest creation of wood-burned art embellished with color.

Repurposing career clothes

Although I did experiment here and here with repurposing some of my career wardrobe, I quickly lost interest. I don’t dress that way anymore, basically living out of one laundry basket full of casual and athletic wear.

And yet … I’ve decided to keep what’s left – a jacket, a suit, a few skirts and a pair of slacks. At least for a little while longer. Reasons, in no particular order:

  1. I’ve pared it down to just a few pieces anyway, so it’s no big deal to keep them hanging in the closet.
  2. The pandemic has probably changed career fashion forever. I don’t think my style will be popular with anyone but me.
  3. All the charities I checked want larger sizes, and I don’t want to bother with consignment.
  4. They fit well and look good on me. Sometimes lacking other options, you have to wear your confidence.
  5. It’s more fun to dress up when it’s not 100 degrees. Fall is just around the corner.
  6. These are not normal times, and you never know what will happen. Post-pandemic renaissance? Apocalypse? I might need nice clothes.

The joy of movement

I visited the physical therapist, and all in all, it went well. I have some nits to pick about the process, but I heard what I wanted to hear. Basically, she said I have good mobility and should continue to do everything I want to do in terms of golf, swimming, stretching, walking and weights. With regard to osteoporosis, she said to avoid jumping and jarring movements but otherwise keep moving. Her team can help me with strength and balance.

They stretched out my problematic left buttocks area and decorated it with Kinesio tape, which presumably helps with muscle pain and inflammation. I must say it seems to be working! They put the tape on while I’m face down in the “child’s pose.” Of course, I can’t put the tape on myself, so I had Dale take a picture of me in case we need to replicate. He took the picture, but I’m not sure he’s on board with taping me. It’s not like I’m asking him to shoot an apple off my head.

I played golf twice, and I could definitely feel the burn, but I think it was just the normal aches and pains of returning to exercise after a 10-day rest. I tried to take it easy, forget about the score and feel the joy of movement. I will try swimming today.

Note to fellow retirees – be gentle but move as much as you can as often as you can. Mobility goes away quickly and is difficult to recover.

The limitations of movement

Movement is one of the reasons I don’t outsource housework. I do most of it, but Dale does make significant contributions to our efforts. The balance inside the home isn’t really an issue, but I did talk with him about adding some additional chores to his list. He’s always cooperative, but it annoys me that I have to spell it out for him.

Yardwork is a different story. This is where the limitations of movement are hitting home. I tend to be a workhorse, and as I always joke, Dale likes to put on a clean shirt and go bye-bye in the car. For the record, he does laugh when I say that!

Our neighborhood association maintains the front yard. We don’t have a huge backyard, and the pool takes up most of it. Dale has always said it wasn’t worth the money to hire someone to mow and blow such a small area. Especially since I ended up doing it most of the time. But there’s also pruning – and in previous years, that also fell to me.

Newly armed with spunk and MRI results, I said that time is gone. Beyond mow and blow, count me out. Shortly after my proclamation, he actually mowed and edged. I didn’t even know he knew how to use the edger. In the spirit of cooperation, I got out the blower and cleaned up. See how nice it is when we work together?

Message received. It went in one ear, stayed there and didn’t go out the other.

That means I’m shopping for some sort of landscape service. Although it’s not a big financial commitment, my first thought was I’ll start collecting Social Security later this year, and I could just pay for it from that account.

But my second thought was no way – why is it my responsibility? I know he truly doesn’t care who pays for it, he’s like yeah, whatever you want, but I remember all those bags of yard waste from last year, and my less kind self wants to see him cough up some cash. Reparations, if you will.

Oh, shit, this is bad

Lest we get too judgy in our aging years, Dale announced this morning he couldn’t find his keys, which include both house, car and mailbox. We looked everywhere, including the neighborhood mailbox, because he has left them there before.

Alas, no keys.

My smug self was thinking I would keep the mailbox key separate so as to avoid such a situation. But that’s me. Then I went down the path of we’re getting older, him especially, and this is likely to happen more often. Lost things. Kitchen fires. Who knows? From there, I plummeted to, “He’s got dementia. Oh, shit, this is bad.”

We went to a few doors asking if anyone picked up keys from the mailbox. Nothing. One neighbor was like, oh, shit, this is bad, and I said, indeed, I’m trying not to be judgmental. Another neighbor said to check with the Homeowner’s Association – people sometimes turn in lost items. Dale tried calling, and a recording said they were closed. I said, “Well, let’s just drive over there and see. I’ve got my keys.”

I reached into my purse and pulled out my keys. Except they were not my keys.

Wait! These look like your keys!

They are my keys!

We both burst out laughing. Apparently, he’d left them on the counter downstairs after picking up the mail, and when I was scooping stuff up after I came home from golf, clearly exhausted from exemplary play, I thought they were mine and dropped them into my purse.

One would assume he’s now thinking, looks like Donna has dementia. Oh, shit, this is bad.