Although I have been using medical cannabis for about six months, until yesterday, I had never visited a dispensary in person. I order online, and the cannabis is delivered to my house. The dispensary visit went about as expected, if you expect that, somehow, I will mess things up.
I had my Medical Marijuana Recommendation, which is still required in many places throughout California. I got mine from HelloMD. Not all dispensaries (including the one I visited) are licensed to sell retail. They copied my documentation and driver’s license while I sat in the nicely appointed waiting room filling out a form with address, etc.
When all was ready, a click opened the door to an inner chamber, a small store with glass-covered display cases. A young man (the budtender) waited on me. I said I was looking for Kiva Terra Bites, chocolate-covered dried blueberries that are supposed to be good for insomnia. I’ve written about other sleep remedies here and here, but I wanted to compare and contrast.
Check, he says, they have the Terra Bites, and if I like them, I should come back on Mondays, when they’re on sale. Nice.
While I was there, I checked out the displays to see what else looked fetching. I saw a small jar of a topical cream called Dabba. A brochure on the counter said it provides natural pain relief for 34 different conditions, from arthritis and eczema to neuropathy, phantom limb syndrome, sunburn, gun shot wounds and menstrual cramps. Obviously, I need this product.
I paid for my purchase in cash as required (I saw an ATM machine in the lobby). The budtender put my goods in childproof packaging and gave me a quick tutorial on how to open it. I also got two free pre-rolls and a little loose bud. Free pre-rolls seem to be common. I don’t smoke the joints, but they mysteriously disappear from the cabinet where I put them, so I’m pretty sure Dale is up to no good.
It looked as though I would get out of there without incident, when I saw two doors that appeared to be exits. One door was clearly marked, “Not an Exit.” Two guys were standing there, talking in front of the other door. Door number two did NOT have a sign regarding its role in life, so I assumed it WAS an exit and said excuse me, as I went to turn the handle.
No alarms actually went off, but I can still hear the sirens in my head. One of the guys said, stop! Miss, you cannot go in there! I’m freaking out. I guess this is the door to the mother lode? I backed away slowly and said in the same voice I use with TSA agents, “Can you please tell me where the exit is?”
They point to a door at the opposite end of the room. The exit, by the way, did not say, “Exit.”
I will have a full report on the blueberries in due time. They are 5 MG of THC per blueberry. That’s considered low-dose, but I ate one last night before bed, and it was too much for me. I felt dizzy and slept weird. Cutting a blueberry in half sounds dumb, but that’s what I will try next. I do believe they make them in 2.5 MG, which is probably better for my dainty self.
As far as the topical goes, I put it on my knees, my back and my mastectomy scars. I felt almost immediate relief – very similar to Penetrex but better. As it happens, I was on HelloMD chatting with one of the doctors, and she said topicals are a must for treating my post-mastectomy pain. She said to put it on several times a day for a week, and it might even make the pain go away permanently.
This is my first experiment with topical cannabis, which may be the best thing yet for older adults suffering from a variety of ailments. Cannabis creams will show up in a drug test, but they do not get you high. If you are open to the idea of using cannabis to treat pain and inflammation but don’t want to consume it, topicals are a good option.
I’ll keep you posted on my progress. So far, the only downside is a pungent odor for a couple of hours after you apply it – not offensive to me but definitely cannabis – to the point where I didn’t think I should go to the supermarket with Dale. It’s perfectly legal, not like they are going to kick me out of Whole Foods, but I really don’t want cannabis to be my signature scent.