Bad at travel?

Many retirees live to travel, but we are not among them. Why not?

Aside from being happy homebodies, we traveled a lot when we were young, and travel isn’t what it used to be. We’re on vacation every day and don’t need a break. We live well and cook great food at home.

Plus, we’re bad at travel. Dale won’t plan, and I over-plan, researching hotels and restaurants in search of the perfect experience. We’re almost always disappointed and sad to see the money go.

We did some soul-searching and figured out a few things. For some of us, traveling was easier before retirement, because we knew more money was coming in. Right? Time to earn it back. When there’s a fixed pot at the end of the rainbow, you tend to be more cautious. At least we are.

There’s no one-size-fits-all for retirement travel. Easy for some, not so much for others. Still, most of us do want to enjoy new experiences. Maybe it’s just a matter of figuring out what we like and don’t like and learning to do it better.

One thing we learned this week is that we’re sort of low-brow people in search of a low-rent rendezvous. We went to Napa for an overnight trip, and it was an expensive letdown. The wineries were lovely, but later it seemed like we had opened our wallets to charming thieves and said, “Here, take it.”

A big deal up Napa way is bringing your own wine to a restaurant. Best as I can tell, there are rules. You don’t bring a wine they serve at the restaurant. It should be something special. They charge a “cork” fee unless it’s a special day where they don’t charge to uncork your wine, but even then, there’s an etiquette to tipping and tasting. Of course, they stick it to you on the wine if you order theirs.

We had beer! And that was the best part of our meal.

Food … we’re all about food and thought planning a trip around the restaurant would be ideal. I spent hours researching options. And then we ended up with mediocre food that cost too much.

However, there were locals at the bar, and what did my little eye spy but a wine purse! For the bring-your-own uncorking ritual. That’s when I knew this was not our tribe. When I think of purses and wine, I might recall the 70s, when one might have wanted something to throw up in.

I came home in a foul mood and tried to think of our best vacations. What have we forgotten?

Our favorite trips were to unpretentious places where we spent the day absorbing gorgeous natural scenery – walking, hiking, scuba diving. Moderately strenuous but not grueling. We quit backpacking years ago because it’s hard, and the food sucks. And beer is heavy.

We camped or stayed in a modest lodge. You didn’t have to dress up. We ate whatever was there because we were hungry. And it was good! Oh, and one might have a couple of beers or a glass of wine with dinner and then read for a while before going to bed early.

I’m confident there are better and less expensive ways to explore the wine country. We’ll go back at some point. For now, we are going to focus on visiting natural wonders, and there’s no shortage of them within a few hours of our home. Dale’s on board and said he’s eager to visit Death Valley.

In the summer.

Because then you know what it feels like to be in Death Valley in the summer.

16 thoughts on “Bad at travel?”

  1. Donna, I have been reading your blog for a while now and always enjoy your point of view. Indeed retirement is different for everyone and about being able to decide what you enjoy most and make the most of it.

    Hubby and I are close to your age (69 and 70) and have been retired 6 and 7 years now. We lived pretty frugally while working and raising our family and can now do and go pretty much anywhere we want. We have done a fair amount of travel since retiring and hope to do a bit more while we are still physically able. (We did travel some before retirement, but not extensively.) We have been to over 50 counties and will add a few more before the end of this year, with a trip to Peru—Machu Picchu in March and our second Mediterranean/transatlantic cruise in late fall.
    Having been frugal all our lives, like you, we don’t enjoy spending a lot for things that don’t seem like they are worth the hard earned money we are spending for them. So, we like to travel, but especially like to do so as economically as we can.
    A couple of years ago, we took Amtrak cross country to San Francisco and then spent a week exploring Northern California wine country and the redwoods, prior to meeting up with and taking a cruise to Hawaii with a group of friends. It was one of our most memorable trips. We enjoyed visiting several wineries (there seemed to be zillions to choose from). We found Groupon deals for a couple and said “no thank you” to one that was charging $40/per person for a tasting! We thought they were a little TOO PROUD of their wines, especially since we are often just as happy with an under $10 bottle of wine as one that costs over $30.
    Also on that trip, we spent all but one of our nights with fellow members of the Affordable Travel Club, whose members charge you $20 a night to stay in their home and provide you with a delicious breakfast. Through this group, we have stayed in some of the nicest places and met some lovely people. In turn, we have hosted other members in our home in Indiana.

    In the early years I called my husband cheap, then frugal, but now we have settled on calling our way of spending savvy. ☺️ It is certainly nice to be able to do whatever you want, thanks to being careful rather than careless in our younger days. As a result, we are now able and even ‘need’ to look for ways to give to charities if we want to reduce the amount of taxes we will be paying as we start taking RMDs in the coming year. I am grateful and okay with that but am also going to insist that we loosen up the purse strings a little bit more (ie., to pay for a cab more often, rather than always walking and taking public transportation while exploring a new city on some of our travels).
    I know you play golf and exercise regularly. My goal is to exercise and stay fit enough to continue traveling, but still I think after 70 (later this year) I should be able to insist on a taxi, instead of walking, especially while pulling my carry-on luggage, and if not, we’ll go less frequently. 😬

    1. Jackie — thank you for visiting and for sharing your wonderful perspective on travel. First off, we were the dumb ones who spent $40 per person on the tastings. Lesson learned.

      I guess we just don’t have that big a desire to travel, certainly not at your pace! Part of it is having lived overseas for almost 10 years, traveling in those regions and moving more than 20 times for jobs. Still, it’s good to know there are better ways to do it when we get the itch. You’ve shared some great tips I appreciate, and I know readers will as well. Thank you so much.

      Yes, I do think a little loosening of the purse strings might be in order. Yes to the taxi! And you are so right about staying fit. I do love golf and want to keep at it as long as possible (and not surprisingly, I’m not much up for traveling to play golf). I guess we all want to be fit enough to do the things we enjoy.

      Happy trails to you!

    2. Travel does not have the thrill that it did when younger and working. I get way too anxious about flying now, which I never did. I do enjoy road trips where I feel that I can change paths anytime to explore and see and talk to the locals! I agree about the costs. I am not into looking into all the travel sites for best deals….I tend to just call a few chains that I am comfortable it’s since I travel alone and just suck up the price for an area and room location that I am comfortable with. I still would like to see some of “middle America”…have traveled extensively the west and east coast. Maybe will get to do that when I get my new knees………

      1. Flying is horrible. I did it for work, and I’ve had my fill. We’re all about road trips. We’ve traveled by car around a lot of the country, including one trek from Alabama to California to Maine to Pennsylvania. Lots of memories!

        Some readers might also appreciate your perspective on going with a chain you trust, as opposed to researching all the discounts and such.

    1. Yes, that’s what we would do next time. Maybe stay in Santa Rosa, where it’s cheaper, but there are still decent places to eat.

  2. The fixed income has us staying at home, although we do talk about travel sometimes. We have specific destinies in mind though. None of them include places where a lot of money has to be spent.

    1. It’s hard to find the sweet spot for travel and spending. At least it is for a lot of us!

  3. We also traveled quite a bit while working, and it was great. Now, we travel less than we thought we would in retirement..for one thing, we love our home.We have a great hot tub, a gorgeous living room and sitting room, an art studio and my husband has a big den for playing guitar and escaping. I love to cook and I have a well equipped kitchen.I have a Bose speaker and enjoy great music on my Spotify account, while we sip and enjoy life on the patio with the waterfall going. We do love local road trips all over the Southwest. One of my fave trips was spending Thanksgiving in Santa Fe. Here is Az. Are many small mining towns where we can dress down, shop the antique stores,take the mining tours, and relax on our airbnb patio with our own wine and appetizers I get at Trader joe. I have also found a local tour company that does tons of day trips throughout our state and I’ve been going on some of those to local theater, to various art fairs.. on days my husband is not available or interested. DAILY LIFE, when you are retired, can be SO FULL and PLEASURABLE— I’m one of those people who don’t crave constant excitement.. That said, we do have a small fishing village in Mexico we like to visit, on the beach, once a year.. (cheap!!!) and we take trips here and there that seem interesting but not expensive.. I’m done with cruising… we’re MUCH more selective now… and have a few spots int he good ole USA we wish to visit.. So.. I share your point of view and feel incredibly blessed to be able to be retired and enjoy the freedom..

    1. Thanks for another great perspective. While our house is not luxurious, I feel like it’s a resort and enjoy spending time there. I don’t crave constant excitement, either. Sounds like you’ve found a great mix. I love Santa Fe, I love Mexico and I love all the Gold Rush stuff in California, so we’re definitely on the same wavelength. I need to work on my husband about the airbnb. He’s opposed to it for some reason.

      1. Ohhhh airbnb is the bomb!!!! Our grown son introduced us and we have never gone back.We get incredible,cheap rentals especially in some of the small towns we like to visit. One year I paid only $75 for a great rental in SANTA BARBARA where hotels were EXORBITANT! It’s great to have a living room, a porch, and a kitchen all to ourselves.. get him to go just ONCE and he will be hooked!!! I always read the reviews very carefully and also the profile of the owner to be sure we are a good match.One rental– the owner mentioned there is NO COFFEE POT as she cannot stand the smell of coffee, and her rental was attached to main house, so no matter what she could smell it. Well,guess what.. THAT WAS A NO GO FOR ME!!!! I just read the reviews s I know I am getting a comfy bed, a COFFEE pot and that the other renters had a good experience.good luck! Our home is also not luxurious, but it is a resort to ME!! Just has all the elements we need in retirement… and no more! (We downsized 7 years ago, from a larger home with way too much maintenance and HOA fees..much happier now!!) Thanks for yoiur blog– it’s fun to keep up with you!

        1. It sounds great to me. We actually had an argument about this. We can both be so stubborn. However, I think I can slowly worm my way in! I appreciate the tips for evaluating which ones are going to be a good fit.

  4. Never traveled when we were younger so now we are. We prefer walking vacations and Europe has some wonderful ones. Someone transfers the luggage, the B&Bs are usually good, and all we have to do is walk from village to village and enjoy the scenery. I’m not big on cities so we avoid places like Paris and London. Too bad Dale won’t do Airbnb. We save money by cooking instead of eating out, or we grab ready to eat at a grocery store. I much prefer Airbnb to a hotel, but there is kind of an art to choosing one. It’s fun to check out grocery stores in other countries.

      1. We’ve used Contours in England three times. In France this spring we’re using Mac Adventures, which had good ratings.

Comments are closed.