I was invited by one of the women in my golf group to participate in a series of beginner bridge lessons in her home, and I thought why not? They say this complex card game is especially good for the aging brain. It seems to me anything that might help us dodge dementia is a good thing. I’m retired. I’ve got the time.
Today was my first lesson, and that’s an hour and a half I’ll never get back.
Perhaps I should have known. When I told Dale, he reminded me math was involved. While it’s true I picked journalism as a major because it was about the only degree that didn’t require even the most rudimentary of math skills, I thought, well, it’s a card game. How hard can it be?
Many of you probably know this already, but it’s damned hard. I won’t even go into the complexities I tried to absorb during this first lesson, but it reminded me of high school geometry, when the teacher spent an entire semester saying, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”
Because that’s what it sounded like to me.
The bridge instructor scheduled an indefinite number of lessons every Thursday at 9:30 a.m. Not bad, but not good for the retirement practice I subscribe to called, “The Slow Start.” But you know, staving off dementia, I guess I could move out faster for a good cause. Also, Thursdays at 10 is my preferred time for massages, and one must have priorities.
On the plus side, I wore jeans and my old Lucchese cowboy boots, which I haven’t done in a couple of years. At least I looked cute, and that takes a few brain cells, doesn’t it?
Bridge is interesting, and I can totally see the attraction. I generally like games. I really liked this group of women. If they had a Yahtzee league, I’m all in. I used to play Hearts back in the day, and that didn’t kill me. Backgammon. Scrabble.
But bridge, wow. I’m 67, reasonably intelligent and in excellent health. However, I don’t think I have enough time left to understand this game.
Even without the card counting and all that, there are all kinds of weird things including where you sit and what cards you play – north, south, east and west. What’s so wrong about left and right?
Sometimes your partner will show all their cards, and you play those, too. Like one hand wasn’t enough. And all these little codes to signal your partner how you want to bid. If everyone subscribes to the same convention, why not just say it in plain English? I have five spades!
I didn’t want to disappoint my friends, but I also didn’t want to pretend I’d come back when I knew it was a lost cause. While I acknowledge some stress is good for you, this is the kind of stress that makes me miserable. Rather than drag it out, I just laid it out for them. They were gracious, but now they have to find a replacement, which sucks for them.
When I got home, I told Dale he was right. Numbers gone wild! Crazy stuff! And all my Thursdays eaten up just to learn the basics? I’m pretty sure I would start dreading Thursdays, finding excuses to stay in bed, when in fact it’s a rather pleasant day of the week that has done me no previous harm.
He said, “So, you’re saying it was a bridge too far?”
The man’s still got it.
All this is good news for those of you who enjoy reading my blog. I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks, and I had been thinking, maybe I’ll just quit writing. But that’s looking like a bad strategy now that I know bridge isn’t going to save me.
I promised the bridge gods I would work harder at writing if they would just leave me alone.
I’m happy to hear you’re not going to quit your blog! I don’t remember how I happened to find you, but I love your honesty. Keep being real.
Thank you so much! I’m glad you found us over here.
I really enjoy reading your blog and so I hope you don’t quit writing. I, too, have wondered what’s up with North, South, etc. in bridge.
Thanks. I’m glad I’m not the only one wondering what’s up with cardinal directions.
Great post! I’ve been playing bridge once or twice a year for about 35 years, and I still don’t get it. Like you, I am numerically challenged and I hate the card counting. And trying to remember who played what card and what cards have yet to be played. And like you said – what’s with all the secret codes that everybody knows – why don’t you just announce that you’ve got six hearts. I found it way too stressful, especially playing with people who take it so serious. Drop the bridge, stick with the massage.
I read your comment out loud to my husband, who laughed. I mean, 35 years?? He also thought the secret codes would do him in. I had my massage today, and we’re back to Thursdays going forward.
I applaud you for giving it a go and then for bowing out as soon as you realized it was not for you rather than prolong the agony and also not be a good bridge player for whoever your bridge partner might be. (I don’t play bridge but from watching Seaside Hotel on PBS, it’s apparent that having a poor bridge partner is very upsetting.)
When I first retired and moved to NM, I couldn’t understand why nothing and no one got started until after 10 AM. That’s just part of the culture here. However, once my night owl tendencies took over from my earlier bedtimes in order to get up at 5 AM to get ready for work each day…I became one of those late morning people myself. Ah, retirement.
Keep writing. It’s your forte for sure and we wouldn’t be reading and enjoying your writing if it was not!
You nailed it with concerns about being a poor partner. I was already beginning to feel sorry for whoever got stuck with me. The teacher also said after a few lessons, we’d probably gravitate toward certain partners. And then it was like grade school all over again and not getting picked for the team. I’m done with bridge. It’s better for everyone this way.
I love NM, and it does sound like I’d fit in. Except I’m not a night owl, either. I try to squeeze it all into the middle.
Thank goodness you’re still writing! I’m retired too, but I consider you my role model for doing retirement well
Thank you! I feel like I’m failing half the time, so that’s a nice endorsement.
I was forced to learn to play bridge at one of my first job in the early 50s. The senior psychiatrist who was in charge of the mental health unit where I worked loved bridge and was an excellent player. The person I replaced was always the 4th at a daily lunch game and it was required that I join the game and learn. I made many mistakes, got lectured, threatened, and one day the psychiatrist was so angry that he threw a lit cigarette (everyone smoked in those days) across the table at me. It landed on my lap and burned my skirt. I refused to play with him and almost lost my job. No rights for women at that time– and very few labour laws! All the staff reacted and a few days later, I received an apology and money for a new skirt. Today I wonder what psychiatric problems he had!
This is why I blog! Wow, what a story. Thank you so much for sharing it, although I’m sorry you had to go through it. I relayed it to my husband, who said, so did she still have to play bridge? I said, I don’t think so.
Wow, just wow!
Please keep writing your wonderful blog. I look forward to it and appreciate it so much. And you saved me from bridge.
This is great. I saved myself AND a fellow traveler.
Simple: Bridge no, writing yes
Well, some have said writing is my strong suit …
I had quite the chuckle at Dale’s response, he’s a keeper. So, leave the bridge behind and keep writing and painting the pellets. Part of retirement is trying out new activities and if they don’t “fit” it’s time to move on and just keep cruising. I call it “freestyling” having the option to try new things. Future thanks you’ll keep writing. Russ
I love the concept of freestyling. That’s a great way to look at it. So, I tried it. Didn’t stick. Continue to cruise. Thank you!
Donna, you made me crack up describing your dive into bridge! You were brave and courageous, imo. No way will I even attempt it because I’m math phobic 🥺. You can stimulate your brain with your art and golf. Please don’t stop writing your blog, and continue to enjoy slow living on Thursday’s without bridge stress. Enjoy your weekend.
I’m willing to take my chances with art, golf and writing. I was thinking more about bridge and how busy the table is. I didn’t see room for a bowl of chips, or even dip. What kind of game is that?
I’ve never tried bridge. Although I did like math, years ago, these days I struggle to balance my checkbook without a calculator. Bridge sounds like it might hurt my brain. I think I’ll regret that invite when it comes – yes, there is a local bridge group! Thanks for the heads up.
Happy to be of service!
“A bridge too far.” I think I’m in love with the man and I’ve never even met him.
That was a good one! My other favorite line of his involves a local Native American tribe. The Miwoks. There had been an article in the paper suggesting they might actually be a lost tribe of Hawaiians. We were in a museum, and there was a Miwok exhibit. Dale looked at me and said, “Say aloha to the Miwoks.” We still laugh about that one.
Spouse and I also play word games all the time. One of my favorites of his is as follows. We were discussing one of our cats, who, like all cats, insists upon going in and out of the door all day. Only this cat takes it to an extreme like we have never before seen. She will often only spend seconds before changing her mind and then wanting back in or out.
Husband said she suffers from being “biportal.”
Loved it.
I remember my parents trying to teach my sister & I bridge when we were in our teens. We were teamed up with two brothers around the same age. I was also never comfortable around numbers, and the strategy of the bidding process got to me too. Especially when I discovered the various different schools of bidding which meant you could – quite literally – end up speaking a different language. And the arguments between married couples! Not for me. I gave up as soon as I could. My Dad was a good player and my grandmother (my mother’s mother) was excellent. It didn’t save her from dementia, although that may’ve been down to the amount of alcohol she drank.
I’ve heard it can be quite competitive. Good to know it won’t necessarily prevent dementia. My mother wasn’t much of a drinker, but she didn’t read or do much with her brain, either. Got her.
Donna, this is probably going to surprise you, but I started bridge lessons two years ago, after realizing it was really the one and only thing my sweet husband has ever asked me to do, and, well, I actually am getting to love it!
Several lessons near the beginning had me so stressed out I almost walked out in the middle of the lessons. It was tough to nail down the basics. But now I actually look forward to my weekly bridge sessions, which include a mini-lesson at the start.
Anyhow, no harm, no foul- you keep on being you! And over here I’m still my normal hiking-biking-kayaking self. Aside from my growing passion for bridge, lol.
I think I could have learned to like it, especially if my husband wanted to learn. But it didn’t hurt my feelings to back away.
For some reason, I’ve never especially liked card games. Unfortunately, others in my family do like them so I sometimes get stuck playing them. But I can’t imagine trying Bridge. A friend of mine said she’d thought I’d be good at it (I do like math), but I just don’t have the desire to think that hard playing a game. So I’m with you. Save your Thursdays for something more fun – like blogging!!
I caught up with those who decided to stick with the lessons, and they said it is grueling. No regrets here!