How Luddites bank

My cannabis plant has been growing for about 90 days. It has been in the flowering stage for a couple of weeks and probably has a couple more to go.

I get my cannabis body parts mixed up, but I think the calyx is the base of the flower, and as you can see, there are a bunch, and they are continuing to stack and swell. While my plant is smallish, it’s rather amazing and quite beautiful. Dale goes in there to worship it from time to time.

The white hairs are called stigmas, which turn orange-brown as the plant progresses through the flowering stage. Trichomes are the resin glands where the cannabinoids are formed. Cannabinoids, among them CBD and THC, are the psychoactive and medicinal components of the cannabis plant.

I had a hard time identifying the trichomes until I took a picture using the snap-on macro smartphone lens that came with my grow kit and realized (maybe) trichomes are the clear white bubbles on the buds and leaves. They will eventually turn from clear to cloudy to amber, and that’s when it’s time to harvest.

Dale wants to know if we’re having a harvest festival. That Dale. When you’re about to throw a party, and you’ve worked your ass off getting the place ready, he’s the guy who shows up in a clean Hawaiian shirt when the work is done and taps the keg.

There may very well be a harvest festival, but I still have to read up on how to actually cut down the plant and hang it to dry. This has been quite the learning experience!

How Luddites bank

At the end of the day, my husband likes to drop all his change into an old plastic Atomic Fire Ball bin. A big one – something you would get from Costco or Sam’s Club. The bin was full, but we weren’t sure how to convert it to real money.

I looked into Coinstar but didn’t want to pay the fee. One can avoid the fee by getting an eGift Card, but Dale is a bit of a Luddite and suspicious of all things that start with a small e.

We’re doing it the old-fashioned way.

First, I went to the bank and asked if they accepted rolls of coins. They do. And they provided me with the flat paper rolls. When I got home, I separated the quarters, nickels and dimes. Dale asked what I was doing, and I said I was being nickled and dimed. Which is kind of true, because as it turns out, this is not how he would have done it.

Dale has yet to reveal his secrets to coin-rolling, but since I started, I think he’s extricated himself from any role in this fun family activity. That’s OK, because at this point, it’s like I’m on a mission from God.

So far, I have more than $300 in quarters. I’m out of quarter rolls and asked Dale what he thought about our next move. Should I take what I have to the bank and get more rolls? Or should we wait until we’ve finished and do it all at once?

It’s funny. We are so different, yet in some ways it’s like we’re the same person. Maybe that happens after 41 years. Anyway, we both blurted out, “Let’s do it all at once!” And we started laughing. Somehow, it’s exciting to see the grand total. Maybe that’s just how Luddites roll.

Of course, the real problem is figuring out how to actually carry in this pile of rolls without looking like criminals. Dale said criminals don’t bring stuff into the bank. They steal things from the bank. True, but there’s an armed guard at the entrance, and I can just see us holding some sort of parcel stuffed with coin rolls and the guard thinking it’s a gun or biological agent.

These things never go well for me. I can see it already. I’ll be on the ground bleeding out, and they’ll be apologizing to Dale for the mess and asking him if he wants it in $20s.

12 thoughts on “How Luddites bank”

  1. Ooooh, I was waiting for a cannabis plant update and here it is! Nice.
    As I put everything through my credit cards (want those points/cash back offers/WestJet doollahz!), I rarely carry cash thus rarely have change. But in the past I have done the collecting/sorting/rolling thing. And it is kinda awkward.
    Thanks for this funny post, Donna!

    Deb

  2. Each week a customer who owned a car wash would bring several small ice chests filled with quarters to the bank to be deposited into his account. Because the ice chests were quite heavy he rolled them into the bank on a small cart. His quarters were not rolled but his transportation method might work for you, with or without a cart depending on the weight of your coins. I would suggest one of you go into the bank first and explain to the guard what you would be bringing in to avoid any unforeseen problems.

    1. Hi Betty! I have a laptop bag with wheels — that’s an idea! But I am definitely going to follow your advice and talk to the guard first. So as to avoid bleeding out while Dale runs off with the money.

  3. You always make me chuckle. Loved it. Our bank won’t accept rolls of coins. I guess they don’t trust that we can correctly fill one of those coin rolls. I take my bags of coins to the bank and they put them in a machine that spits them out into the correct sections and rolls them. I don’t do it very often and not every branch has this magical machine. But my jar and bag are starting to get full, so maybe I should make a trip soon. Thanks for the reminder!!

    1. I did ask about the machine, which is reserved for business customers only. I almost said, well, let’s take a lookie and see how much money is in our account and consider how you might feel if it were suddenly gone. But as I said. These things do not work out well for me.

  4. Hey Donna, great update. Lots of interest up here in Canada now that people are allowed to grow their own legal cannabis plants (max 4 per household).
    Any chance of a photo of your plant with something of a comparable size? ie a ruler? or one of Trumplethinskins tiny hands? or a walnut the size of his actual brain?

    You get the idea.

    Thanks, Derek.

    1. Hi, Derek. You know you’re funny when I read your comment out loud to my husband! Thanks for that. Yes, the next post on the status of my plant will include some sort of comparison. My mind is stirring after reading your suggestions …

  5. OK, I’m a little reluctant to post this comment AFTER you’ve already rolled $300 worth of quarters. But here is the thing: some old coins are worth more than face value. Pre-1964 dimes, for example, are worth setting aside to have looked at by a coin dealer. And Wheat Pennies (where the back will be wheat sheafs instead of the Lincoln Memorial or the Union Shield (depending on the age of the penny), are easy to spot and worth maybe 5-8 cents each. And as I’m rolling quarters, I stack them in my hand so that I can get a look at the edges. If there is a line of copper, just roll it. But if you would ever find a silver one with no copper edge, it might be worth $15-20. I admit I’ve found precious few of those. I don’t mind rolling coins and find that checking for these easy gems makes it more interesting.

    1. No worries, I appreciate the information! The dimes are already done. I still have a pile of quarters and went through them as you suggested. Nothing. However, your comment made me think of something else. My husband has some cardboard coin books that he filled when he was a kid. They’re just sitting around doing nothing. Might be good to find a coin dealer and see if there’s anything worthwhile in there. Even if there’s no value, somebody else might want them for a collection.

  6. I had to look up the word, Luddites. My husband and I do pretty much the same as you do. We roll our jars of change and take them into the bank. The staff is always glad to see us.

    1. I hope our bank staff is happy to see us — they can be surly. As for Luddites, I learned that word a few years ago from my husband, the human dictionary. Thank you for visiting my blog. I’m now headed off to check out yours!

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