Adventures in medical care

The hospital was actually pretty nice. My husband had a private room, there was a couch where I could sit and they served Peet’s coffee. I guess the Medicare drill is after three nights, you will most likely be moved to a Skilled Nursing Facility (pronounced sniff) if you aren’t able to go home yet.

When I told my sister-in-law, who is a retired nurse, that he was moving to a SNF, she cried.

They gave me a list, and I had about an hour to decide. I looked to see which ones were closest to our house. I Googled reviews. We got our first choice, which got glowing reviews, high medical ratings, etc. Several commenters even said the food was excellent.

I’m told they are all pretty much the same. It’s not that I made a poor choice, it’s just that, you know, it’s not the Ritz. My first reaction was something between Cuckoo’s Nest and Girl, Interrupted.

The place is packed, and they gave him a bed in a room so tiny you couldn’t even access the bathroom (shared by four people) without moving stuff around. He was in the back, by the window, but you practically had to crawl over his roommate to get to Dale.

After the shock wore off and physical therapy arrived, we began to feel better. I started schmoozing (I was in PR, after all) and the next day got him moved to a much better room with a worse roommate. Dale said it was a worthy trade.

I won’t go into the details regarding the roommate, but aside from being old and sick, he’s mean to the staff, screams about this, that and the other thing and does not have complete control of his bowels. He makes a big production when he has an “accident.” Dale thinks he does it on purpose to get attention.

As I said, it’s not really a very pleasant place to be, but it’s clean and the staff is very kind and attentive and seem to be good at what they do. We both feel like he’s in good hands. The goal is to get him to the point where he can get up on his own, get to the bathroom, etc. Then he can come home. It will most likely be three weeks, the doctor suggested.

The food is pretty awful, but then you know what food snobs we are. The meals are healthy, and there’s good variety. Dale picks at it. He’s on a normal diet, so I’m allowed to bring food, which is a pain in the ass, but he needs more than what he is willing to eat off the tray. Oh, and daily coffee service from Donna’s instead of Peet’s.

He’s in good spirits and understands it’s a long journey. All I can say is if you visit one of these facilities, you will do whatever you can to keep from ending up there. Part of the place is long-term care, and that is just heart-breaking. Some of these poor souls sit in their wheelchairs out in the hallway, snoozing or muttering to themselves. A few scream now and then.

I’m doing OK, except I wish he’d just eat the damned food. But I get it. My new best friend is ChatGPT. I had never used it before, but I love it! I’m asking about beds for downstairs when he comes home, other medical equipment, how to deal with family members … it’s incredible!

While I don’t know what my chat friend’s gender is, I’m saying it’s a her. She gave me some advice about sibling matters, and out of habit, I wrote back to thank her and let her know which path I choose. She approved of my choices and applauded my emotional intelligence.

I was texting my young friend who’s more familar with all this stuff, and I said, “I think she’s sucking up to me.” My friend said, yes, but here’s some language to put in your preferences to let her know you don’t want that.

Although I did it, I sort of liked the sucking up. I promised myself I would not upload my photo and ask my chat buddy how old I looked. Or if my bob made me look like a Republican.

18 thoughts on “Adventures in medical care”

  2. Oh gosh. I guess because I only had my left hip x-rayed when I fell down those steps because I hit the scar where my hip replacement was and was worried that I’d done something to it (I hadn’t), I didn’t even know that I had fractured my pelvis until 2 weeks later when I went to my PCP because I still couldn’t walk unaided. I had to use my rollator. She sent me across the street to have my pelvis x-rayed and mystery solved. But because I had my rollator, by leaning my weight on it which took the weight off my pelvis, I could move around the house (and to the doc) with minimal pain, and with my husband driving, I could get to the doctors.

    I guess they are hard core here since the ortho told me to just keep walking using my rollator as much as was tolerable and he would see me in 8 weeks for a re-check. Actually, he didn’t even see me until then. My PCP had the x-ray people send the x-rays to the Orthopedist on call, he ordered a CT scan and based his advice on the fact that the CT scan confirmed the x-rays that said I’d fractured my pelvis. My rollator didn’t go through the bathroom door – 50 year old house and narrow bathroom doors – but I was able to lean on the long countertop to get to and from the toilet so that worked.

    My ignorance that I had done anything other than bruise my hip was fortunate I think based on your description of the rehab place. Also, I didn’t have any PT until I was fully healed but maybe I’d have healed faster if I had had some? At any rate, I also had the minimally displaced or closed fractures (3 of them) and with basically no care, I healed up fine (look at that great bone you laid down Dr. Lee exclaimed) so I feel good about Dale healing just fine too. I just kept trying to see if I could walk unaided now and again and I couldn’t until suddenly it seemed, I could. However, I then tried to drive myself somewhere and trying to put pressure on the brake with my right foot was excruciating and I didn’t even make it out of the garage, so there were still some moves that my pelvis couldn’t support without calling time out. I think it took another week or so before that didn’t bother me either.

    Best, best, best of wishes for Dale to heal enough to come home very soon. Do they let him use a walker or rollator to get around at the rehab place? I can’t imagine how I would have fared without mine. My husband would have had to carry me from place to place. 😬

    1. Your stories are very helpful. I find it interesting that you moved so well, but Dale cannot put any weight on it at all. This is only a week, so we are hopeful. They talked to us today about a walker and rollator. We have a meeting tomorrow to discuss this stuff. Should be interesting.

      1. I couldn’t put any weight on my feet by myself, either. The pain was much too much, but I could “walk” using my rollator. The rollator was key to my getting around and the ortho felt that it was good exercise to continue using it as much as “was tolerable.” I walked very, very slowly but because I could transfer most of my weight onto the rollator, I could walk. Every once in awhile I would test myself to see if I could walk unaided and for a very, very, very long time that was a hard no. I think I gave up for awhile and then the next time I tried (granted, a good 8 weeks from the fall, 6 weeks from the ortho confirming via CT scan that I had indeed fractured my pelvis). So it seemed to me that suddenly I could walk unaided without pain but I was careful and still used my rollator for awhile but I leaned less and less on it until I was confident that walking unaided didn’t cause me pain. I was really, really careful though and walked in small intervals so that (in my mind) I didn’t overload the pelvis.

        I sure hope that they give Dale a walker or rollator. I hate walkers. I was given one free (covered by medicare for the hip surgery) and ditched it in favor of my rollator. I know that they want to limit movement by using a walker but it’s a pain to use whereas the rollator rolls, has brakes to stop it and at no time that I’ve ever observed, was prone to “run away with me.” I use mine now to exercise stretching out my wonky spine. I bend perpendicular to the floor and with legs stationary (a tad bent to not overstrain the hamstrings) slowly roll a little forward then backward…kind of like a cat/cow stretch and it feels so good. I also do squats while walking, using it becaue I hate regular squats but I can walk and squat and not lose my balance using the rollator so it makes squats tolerable, lol. My little indoor rollator has a basket and a tray on top which is so handy. The tray lets me unload the dishwater and deliver the dishes to the cabinet in the dining room in 2 loads. I can load heavy things onto it that would stress my spine to carry.

        While Dale is recovering it can hold his dinner plate and be rolled right up to his ekornes chair with the coccyx pillow and he can either eat from the tray in front of him, or, I take the tray and put it on my lap. I love this thing. I don’t “need” it like I used to but I still use it for a lot of things. It hold my ipad in front of me while I do my chair yoga. It’s more expensive than a lot of rollators but the style is great. I have also used it in malls if there’s going to be a lot of walking involved as I need a cane at the very least but with a rollator I can zip along.

        A link to a video. Just in case. It’s not necessary when used as a temporary thing; any rollator will do, but handy to have if other issues arise like they have for me.

  3. OK, obviously much of this is no laughing matter. Nevertheless, I DID laugh at your sending a thank you note to ChatGPT and her flattering response. One of you is in what I think they call a parasocial relationship.

    1. I still have a little humor left! Your remark about a parasocial relationship made me laugh.

  4. Oh, good Lord! I’m so sorry you both are going through this experience. And all because of a simple choice that many of us would have made, assuming we’d be fine.
    And yet you still managed to make me laugh really hard out loud (the last paragraph especially got me) : D
    I hope Dale manages to heal at a record pace and skedaddle on home!
    Jeanne

    1. So glad you got a laugh out of it. Dale and I crack up over the antics of his roommate. Humor is everywhere if you see the world that way. Thanks for the warm wishes.

  5. So sorry about this whole episode, but I don’t think you will be mistaken for a Republican unless you have “Mar-a-Lago” face.

  6. My husband about cried when his fancy adjustable ladder wasn’t allowed where we live.

    We made the move here in part because he insisted that he could be on the roof cleaning out the gutters. He has Parkinson’s.

    I’m glad Dale is on the mend. And mostly that he can laugh.

  7. I love ChatGPT, and he’s my new best friend. I’m glad Dale is doing better. Things like this are so unexpected, and sometimes that makes it worse. Like ‘Why did I get on that ladder?” When I missed a step on the step ladder and came down straight on my knee, and ended up with a torn ACL and meniscus. It was like WTF is this shit? Anyway, hang in there, both of you.

    1. Thank you. He is doing better. I’ll probably provide an update tomorrow. In spite of it all, we have found ourselves laughing in that miserable place.

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