Category: Style & Fashion

It’s quite surprising to me, but I get a lot of blog traffic from Pinterest pins of my hair … especially the picture featuring my signature man bun. I adopted a low-maintenance style to save time and money in retirement, but it turned out to be a great strategy for pandemic hair.

And, yes, it’s looking like pandemic hair is my forever hair.

Texture

I’ve always had fine hair … a decent amount with plenty of body, but it’s weightless. Like fairy hair. My hair is not thinner due to age – I was born this way. Over the years, I’ve learned to embrace it.

My stylist would prefer I wear it a bit shorter, but she’s benchmarking me against thick hair. I like the way it looks, and extra length means fewer visits to the salon. With fine hair, wearing it longer also gives you more hair to twist around for updos.

Color

It has been 12 years since I dyed my hair. By the way, I managed to have a great career and got promoted with gray hair. It happens. Growing it out is painful, but once you get through it, no more fussing with roots. And everyone goes gray differently. Your color is unique to you. It can’t be replicated from a bottle, and that’s kind of cool.

Cut

Because my hair is fine, I do not have layers or bangs. Bangs just mean less hair, right? I haven’t had it professionally cut since January. Due to the pandemic, I do not intend to visit a salon anytime soon.

My new favorite way to cut is to part it in the middle and make pigtails. Then bring the pigtails to the front, tie them together and press your fingers on a line where you want to cut. I just snip the ends off. From the back, it’s slightly lopsided, but it’s good enough for me, especially since I rarely wear it down. I hope to improve on my salon skills over time.

For the record, I cut Dale’s hair, and it’s also slightly lopsided. Then I had to give my cat what might be referred to as a “sanitary clip.” Also a wee bit crooked, so we’re all in this together!

Care

I wash and condition my hair as little as possible, about twice a week. No styling products. No blow dryer. When it’s wet, I clip it in a bun on the top of my head. Take the clip out before I go to bed, and my hair is full and wavy when I wake up in the morning.

While I use a regular brush, I also use a 100 percent boar-bristle brush to distribute the oils and smooth my hair. The brush also “plumps” up my hair for better updos.

Most of the time I wear it in a bun secured with a silk scrunchie. I have a variety of clips, jaws and barrettes for other updos. I like it slightly unruly and let a few loose strands fall where they may.

For this version of low-maintenance hair, I think you have to like the way you look in short hair, because wearing it up will be your default much of the time. It’s like having short hair but easier in some ways.

Special Occasions

I might use a styling gel or root lifter and blow it dry with a round boar-bristle brush. I only do this once or twice a year.

Your pandemic hair

How is your hair holding up? Roots? Have you decided to buzz it off, grow it longer or go gray? Are you cutting it yourself? Or dare I ask … have you visited a salon?

Oh, the drama of hair. I always remind myself I did just fine when I was on chemo 20 years ago and didn’t have any hair. What’s to complain about?

Plenty, I guess. It needed to be cut, my stylist did exactly what I wanted her to do, but I really don’t know how to fix it anymore. Letting it air dry as I did for the picture in my previous post did not produce the results I expected.

Although I dreaded it, today I went back to the salon and bought styling gel. I wet my hair, added the gel and put some leave-in conditioner on the ends. Then I dragged out the blow dryer. More work but better. With the shorter length, I can probably get away with blow drying it periodically. I previously avoided heat because I was pushing the limits of what my hair can do.

Maybe I like this. It looks more modern, don’t you think? A bit thicker and less frizzy? There’s some extra forehead showing, but I don’t really care about that. It is what it is. I do not want bangs. All in all, I believe I can accept this hair, but I’m not sure it’s me. A little too conventional, perhaps.

That said, my hair was really starting to look bad. Something needed to be done. At least with this length, I can still wear it up or in a pony with a hat for golf and other sports. What do you think? A keeper or keep trying?

I have some nice jewelry – not diamonds or gold – mostly unique silver pieces from when we lived in Egypt and silver, turquoise, coral and sugilite from the American southwest. I viewed them as wear-to-work or out-for-dinner, and I’m not doing much of either these days. My retirement wardrobe is functional and not particularly stylish.

For some reason, I worry about what happens to our stuff when we die. We have wills and all that, but there’s this weird dark side of me that considered selling everything little by little, so that by the time we die, all the good stuff will be gone. My dad used to sell our toys if we took a bathroom break, so I’m thinking this another oddity from the gene pool.

So, yes, I thought about selling my jewelry, among other household items, but silver isn’t all that valuable and I don’t really want to part with the stones. As they say, you can’t take it with you. I’ve decided to start wearing it, possibly even adopting the look of a crazy lady who wears all her jewelry at once. By the way, this does align with my vision of pretending I am a Bohemian heiress who spends her later years dabbling in what amuses her.

I’ve always leaned minimalist, and it was not hard to follow Coco Chanel’s advice about removing one piece before you leave the house. Why not add one piece before leaving the house? Or two? I’ve also decided items I reserved for special occasions can now come out to play. Kind of like using your good china, because it’s just sitting there otherwise.

My silver concho belt with a rash guard and denim shorts? Birkenstocks? Why not? I shined up the belt and wore it to the grocery store. We were walking down the aisle, and Dale said, “That belt looks beautiful.” Wow, so that was worth it, right?

The bad news is I need to polish up the rest of my silver, but I’m excited about wearing some pieces that have been tucked away for quite a while. And wondering how I am going to mix it up … unusual combinations I hadn’t previously considered.

I’m also thinking about new ways to wear some of the work clothes I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of. And, oh, those cowboy boots from Texas.

If we do it right, retirement can be all about freedom. Maybe with aging, we lose the fear of being judged. Wear what you want, think what you want, say what you want, do what you want.

Just live your life. Wear the jewelry, use the good china.

With apologies to the men who read Retirement Confidential, this post is about hair, thinning hair and hair loss among women. My husband is bald and has been practically since he was a teenager, so if you are a man and have experienced hair loss, I’m on your team!

Women often have a complex relationship with hair. Too long, too short, too thin, too thick, too frizzy … never good enough. My thin hair is probably as long as it has ever been, I do next to nothing with it and I like it as much as I ever have. I finally went for a trim, and I was worried my stylist would want to chop more off, but she’s on board.

I planned my retirement hair to be healthy and low-maintenance. Some people go super short, and I like that look very much. I just like this better on me. Since I wear it longer and all one length, I only get it trimmed two or three times a year.

Yes, I’m also hoping to avoid hair loss. While hair loss can be genetic and/or hormonal, I do my best to avoid damage. No dye, no heat, no chemical processes, no silicones.

Well, I say no heat, but I have cheated. Last year, I think I only blow dried my hair three times. I’m going for zero this year. Air drying is less damaging, and I also find the slight wave makes my thin hair look fuller than if I’d blown it smooth.

We could argue all day about the pros and cons of products with silicones, but I stopped using them a few years ago. Silicone does make my hair look shiny and smooth in the short-term, but it’s essentially a plastic coating, and I can’t think of anything good about that long-term. It took awhile, but my hair adjusted to being plastic-free.

For me, less is more. I only shampoo and condition twice a week at night so I go to bed with slightly damp hair. Somehow that makes my hair look better in the morning. I use a boar-bristle brush to distribute the oils.

I wear my hair up a lot. And I wear a hat when I play golf or go out in the sun/wind. I talked with my stylist about hair loss, because I see so much of it among women – particularly on the back of the head.

She said while my hair is naturally thin and fine, I don’t have any hair loss to speak of, although it’s beginning to thin around the temples. I could probably disguise that with bangs, but bangs make the rest of my hair look thinner, so there’s always a price to pay.

I’m not sure what I’d do if my hair starts to go. When I was bald from chemo, I didn’t wear a wig. I wore a little bandanna styled like a do-rag, and it looked pretty cute. I could also see me in a buzz cut. Patti at Not Dead Yet Style has been open about her hair loss. She wears adorable wigs. Ronni at Times Goes By talked about wearing berets to cover up thinning hair.

For now, I’m just trying to keep the hair I have. But honestly, if it goes, it goes. We have lots of options.

We’re finally getting a break from the torrent of rain, and it occurred to me I never once used an umbrella. Maybe one more thing we don’t need in retirement? As I see it, there are several options:

• Stay home. This is the luxury of retirement. Crappy weather? Oopsie, I’m innie. If you have a television and stock a treasure trove of food, libations, puzzles and books, you should be fine riding out the storm. The cat and I like to play, “Stuck in a frozen cabin in the woods.”

• Retirement-proof your hair. The reason many women avoid the rain is about hair or shoes. It seems to me most men don’t bother with umbrellas. It’s time to get over the hype your hair must be fixed, full, smooth and perfect. Let it go wild. My longish hair actually looks better with a little rain on it. Sort of the poor man’s French girl hair.

• Dump the good shoes. In one of my last dressy work-related events before I retired, I wore silver Birkenstock sandals. In hindsight, I can see it was my way of saying, guess what? I’m retiring! These days, I have Merrell boots for big rain involving puddles. For modest sprinkles, Keen sandals (with or without socks) or just athletic shoes. Nothing bad will happen to them.

• Wear a hat. Hats and dark glasses are God’s way of saying you look marvelous. No makeup required. No need to fix your hair. Just plop and go. Add sunglasses or tinted lenses for extra protection from critical observers. A brim keeps the rain off your glasses.

• Get a raincoat. Or two. My fave is a real Scottish Mackintosh I bought when I still had cash flow. Coupled with a black Tilley hat, Dale says I look menacing. I also have a short rain jacket for sports and a knee-length Marmot for putzing around. Hoods are handy, depending on what type of hat you select. Big pockets are essential.

• Ditch the handbag. That’s what pockets are for. Possible exceptions include an all-weather crossbody bag or my old favorite … the backpack purse! Coming back to a neighborhood near you soon.

Umbrellas are relatively cheap, so this isn’t a huge money saver, but it’s another foot forward on the minimalist path. The real pain of umbrellas is what to do with them when you arrive at your destination. Or how to carry one when you have other stuff to carry on the way to your destination.

Hands-free is better than dragging around an umbrella. Plus, you can run faster when the bad shit goes down.

As for the image above, I’ve been having fun with the free Android app Sketch Photo.

Today was the holiday luncheon for my golf league. I wasn’t going to attend, but I’m trying to socialize more and make friends. The luncheon was not as much fun as actually playing golf, but I had a good time. The biggest deal was seeing everyone all dolled up.

No one recognized me, because I stuff my hair under a hat when I play golf. Nobody knew I had all that gray, and they had never seen it down. This was maybe the second time this year I blow dried my hair. I thought it came out great, but I don’t plan to start that business up on a regular basis. 

Makeup is not my thing … which is great for retirement. Cheaper, faster. Men look good without makeup, right? I’ve never understood the need to paint our faces. That said, for special occasions, I will put on a bit of tinted moisturizer and some blush. I also fill in my eyebrows with a pencil and brush. I’m sure mascara would look fabulous, but I hate it.

Some people say gray hair without makeup washes you out. Color me washed out.

I’m not into Christmas, so it would be unlike me to wear a Santa sweater or snowman earrings. There was a lot of that going on, and everyone looked happy, but I stuck with my basic black and blue. The jacket and tee are leftovers from work. I bought the jeans at Kohl’s earlier this year.

The boots are kind of a funny story. I’ve had them since Texas and expect to have them forever. They are nice quality leather. I noticed when we went wine tasting at the vineyards, most of the women wore jeans tucked into boots. I started copying, and I’ve had tons of compliments. I swear, one woman wanted to lick them. Sometimes it is nice to fit in.

As I was exploring my closet, trying to figure out what to wear, I tried on several outfits from work. They felt alien. I didn’t want to purge my closet during the first year of retirement. Now that I’m in year two, I’ll probably donate some and re-purpose the rest. 

There may not be much left by the time I’m done, but then I don’t need a whole lot. Athletic clothes for summer, athletic clothes for winter and a few outfits with jeans. Jammies!

Well, I do love the high-tech stretchy fabrics and lust after a lot of the clothes at Athleta (seriously, that could be my whole wardrobe). However, until they decide to appoint me brand ambassador and air drop me gift baskets of clothes, I only shop there for items I can’t find anywhere else.

So, yes, you likely will spend less money on clothes after you retire. I prepared several years in advance by erring on the casual side of business casual. For colors, I stuck with neutrals that could easily be mixed and matched.

Before I bought anything, I’d ask myself, would I wear this in retirement? I wanted clothes that transcended the workplace. I also avoided dry clean-only clothes to save money while I was still working, knowing it would come in handy down the road.

Everybody is different, and I say wear what you want. But even if you are a super fashionista, you can dress yourself in retirement on way less than it took to keep you stylish at work.