Category: Current Events

Motivation to get dressed

While I didn’t watch the inauguration, I read all about it afterward. I loved everything from the inaugural address and the music to the poetry and shed tears of joy and relief. I am filled with hope for our country. President Biden’s remarks made me want to be a better person.

But the inauguration was also the motivation I needed to get dressed.

Yes, in the midst of this most profound moment in our history, I found myself searching the internet for photos of the spectacular outfits. Well, the coats! The colors, the cuts. There was a time when I cared about fashion, but that seems like forever ago.

As the comedian Seth Meyers said, “So that’s what it feels like when you’re not grinding your teeth. I forgot, and I think – yeah, I can see colors again.”

Or as I might say, so that’s what it feels like when you’re not worrying about who has the nuclear codes. There’s room for lighthearted fare. On the fashion front, my favorite was Kamala’s camel coat. Even though there were brighter choices to admire, she had me at pleats.

I’ve mostly lived in warmer climates, so coats were not usually a fashion statement. I’d buy one multi-purpose coat and make do. Usually a neutral color. My favorite was a flowy coat I bought in Germany made with layers of olive cotton and corduroy. I actually have no idea how much it cost. I just knew I had enough Deutsche Marks in my wallet to buy it!

My go-to warm coat these days is a long black duster with a button-in lining that I bought years ago at Burlington Coat Factory. At one time I wanted a Burberry trench, but I could never find the single-breasted style I liked. I used to keep a picture of Jackie O’s as a reference.

Instead, I purchased a real Mackintosh raincoat that should last forever. Navy. Single-breasted. Simple and beautiful, but not quite as versatile as a trench.

Although I don’t need a dressy coat these days, I wear light jackets for casual outings and sports, or at least I did when there was such a thing as casual outings. Khaki, black, white or navy. My avoidance of bright colors goes back to my childhood of never having enough money. If you could only have one, you didn’t blow it on yellow.  

It has been nearly a year since I’ve worn anything more than what is required for groceries or exercise … leggings with pockets. Not even jeans. My hair gets mostly tied into a man-bun or topped with a hat.

As for the new administration, there will be missteps and disagreements, but knowing compassionate adults are in charge changes everything. I’m hopeful we can get to work on the tough issues our country faces, but at the same time, I feel lighter. Freer. Like I want to put on some real clothes and go somewhere. Maybe even fix my hair or buy something purple yellow camel.

Today is not yesterday

Cannabis tincture. Just a couple of drops from the dropper can ease anxiety.

Yesterday was a low point for me. Politics, pandemic, familial squabbles. I could feel my body and mind withdraw, and my only thought was enough is enough. And I say that as someone who has it easy.

This morning, I added a couple of drops of cannabis tincture to my orange juice. It’s so calming. A little miracle, really.

I make my own tincture, but if you live in a place where it’s legal, most dispensaries sell it. Mine is alcohol-based, so you have to mix it with something. Be careful not to overdo it. Go slow and start with just one or two drops, gradually increasing until you get the desired effect.

Most commercial tinctures are made with glycerin, so you put a drop under your tongue. Same advice about going slow. Either way, I highly recommend giving cannabis tincture a whirl. To me, it’s medicine.

My morning read includes an email newsletter called California Today from the New York Times, which I subscribe to. Today’s installment included an interview with a guy who has studied the far-right movement for many years. He said they’ve been around a long time and aren’t going away, but they never had a “sponsor” at the national level until Trump.

Perhaps I am naïve, but it gave me hope that once Trump is gone, they’ll go back to being a horrible splinter movement to be reckoned with but one without top cover at the highest levels.

Feeling better, I was pleased to see the stay-at-home orders for our region have been lifted. While the restrictions are based on the number of ICU beds available, they actually think people are being more cautious about masks and gatherings, and the numbers are starting to stabilize. That’s almost a minor miracle at this point.

We’re now in the purple tier, which allows for outdoor dining and other activities. There’s not much in the purple tier that applies to us. God knows, I’d love to get my hair sawed off, but I’m not going into a salon. While Dale and I aren’t venturing out anytime soon, it feels good just the same and will hopefully pacify the people who are so inclined.

We want to see happy people!

In another minor miracle, it is absolutely beautiful outside, peaking this afternoon at 62 degrees. I had supermarket sushi for lunch out on the patio, where I daydreamed about how joyful life will be further on down the road. Maybe we’ll be vaccinated by April? We’ll still have to be careful, but it will alleviate some pressure.

To celebrate that today is not yesterday, I’m going for a long walk and will not be wearing my usual 17 layers.

It gets better if you just hang on.

Learning to jump

It’s hard to process what has been happening. I have few words. Earlier in the week, I had something all written up about Trump’s call to Georgia’s Secretary of State, thinking that was the new low. I thought, this is what crazy sounds like. Before I could hit publish, there was another new low.

Looks like a race to the bottom. And now we know what crazy looks like.

And so, I try to stay calm. I was never good at meditation. I tried when I was first diagnosed with cancer 21 years ago, but I always fell asleep! Several years ago, I found a free app with guided meditations and used to do them on the bus as I commuted to work. I pulled up the app yesterday and did a 20-minute session.

The guided meditation helped. The one I use is called Sattva. Although, I confess, a few naps have been equally satisfying. Just another way to tune out.

In the midst of all this, my sister-in-law reports her sister is no longer speaking to her because of a row they had over Trump. What a coincidence! My sister is not speaking to me because I was rude when she called to warn me accidents and illnesses are befalling everyone she knows.

Dale is still speaking to me, but he blocked Nancy Pelosi.

Blog anniversary

This week marks three years since I started Retirement Confidential. In the beginning, I had a little freelance gig lined up with a former colleague who owns her own consulting business and thought I would expand that over time. But then she unexpectedly dropped me like a hot potato, and I realized I was done working for other people anyway.

My biggest motivator was always money, and it took some time for me to stop worrying too much about it. I collaborated with our financial planner, and we agreed we had enough saved to fund our retirement (coupled with Dale’s pension and Social Security). We have a conservative portfolio that under normal conditions helps us sleep at night.

A pandemic and attempted coup kind of messes with sleep. However, we are hopeful the money will last.

Once I stopped worrying about cash flow, it’s surprising how quickly I lost my desire to do much more than entertain myself with simple pleasures. Retirement is great! I enjoy writing about the journey, and I love hearing your stories.

I’m not sure where the road will take us. It’s one hurdle after another, but I’m learning to jump. Aside from the current drama, perhaps a good goal is to enjoy a long and healthy life doing the things that bring us happiness.

Less important things to think about

The screaming match that passes for news is tough to take these days, and I’m keeping myself pathologically busy so I don’t have time to sit down and read much of it. While I do care, I don’t like to get too stirred up about current events. I have less important things to think about.

I heard a song that kind of sums it all up. Soapbox, by Brent Cobb. My favorite line is, “Well, hot dog, your opinion is louder than mine.”

Still, I was happy the Supreme Court rejected the Texas bid to overturn election results. The Washington Post printed an op-ed that listed all the Republicans who publicly supported the effort. I mentioned to Dale our congressman, Tom McClintock, was on the list.

Doing his best Darth Vader impression, Dale said, “The sickness is strong with this one.”

There are two pandemic songs I like very much. Stay Home by Shinyribs and Quarantine Blues by Steve Poltz. Guaranteed to make you smile.

We are eager to get the vaccine, but we’re definitely not first in line. I wonder about my previous cancer experiences and how that figures into risk. I don’t have cancer now, but did my treatment affect me long-term? I’m pretty sure chemotherapy is an immuno-suppressant, but that was more than 20 years ago, so does it even matter? I really don’t know, and since I am quite healthy now, I’ll just wait my turn.

I’m not much of a Christmas person, but I promised Dale I would support the whole tree-decorating thing and be of otherwise good cheer. I’m hanging tough, but he does not make this easy. It takes Dale a full week to decorate the tree, and it’s like an ornament bomb went off in the living room.

If it were me, I’d have that thing done in a snap, and then I’d put everything away, and then I’d go into a mad cleaning frenzy so we’d wake up to an immaculate house the next morning. But that’s me. Just a kid with a dream.

We like to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy at Christmas, so while I expressed my support for Dale’s unique timetable, I also suggested we hold off on movies until the tree is done, the presents are wrapped and all the associated paraphernalia (as well as the collector’s set of Amazon boxes) is out in the garage for the remainder of the holidays.

I think he agreed, but you never know.

Meanwhile, I’m getting primed to take on some sort of big cooking project. Croissants are on the list. A tough challenge to be sure and certainly less important than the shenanigans of Republican snollygosters.

Which suits me just fine.

Flat Earthers take cover

Riley, who has been on lockdown for five years. He believes in the science of being cozy.

I’ve been trying not to think about the state of the union, but that might prove to be impossible. Just as I breathed a huge sigh of relief when Joe Biden won the election, Trump and his cronies dug in deeper to spread misinformation about election security, and the man himself refuses to accept he lost. Oh, and purging non-loyalists, denying access to transition resources.

The list goes on, and all of it concerns me, a retired 65-year-old military veteran and non-radical citizen who just wants decent people representing us. Yes, I care about specific policies and lean left, but I’m OK with a diverse selection of elected officials as long as they are not amoral sociopaths. I’m looking at you, Donnie.

As I stewed over this train wreck of politics, it occurred to me I am trying too hard to look the other way. I’m getting better at intellectual distancing – in that I can think about the mess we’re in and not internalize it too much – and I believe it’s a sign I can absolutely pay attention and share my observations from time to time without going nuts inside.

Just because we’re getting older doesn’t mean we have to disappear quietly into that good night. There’s a lot to talk about … and plenty of room left for art, reading, golf, outdoors, cooking and all the other fun stuff that makes for a happy retirement! I very much appreciate your readership and hope you enjoy the balance of topics.

I wonder (not worry) about what’s next. I already feel better knowing Joe Biden will be our next president. We have a ton of social, medical and financial challenges, but the flat Earthers will have to take cover when science matters again, and we’ll have four years to see if we can turn this ship around.

It will not be easy. I miss pre-Trump Republicans. Some of them might have looked beyond their own agenda to do what’s right for America and her allies. Now I wonder how Trump’s sycophants will fare once the ex-president has faded from the scene.

People like Bill Barr, Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell – they sold their souls. But perhaps there are others who will see the light once Trump isn’t looming over them like the grim reaper.

Call me crazy, but I’m feeling optimistic about the future.

No malarkey

What a relief to see Joe Biden elected president. And as one of the late night comedians said, what a year this week has been. I guess it was last week, but you know what I mean.

I like to think things are not quite as random as we suppose. Joe didn’t get the job in earlier years, because it was not his job. The universe was saving him for when we needed him the most. This time the doors opened.

I’ve had a lot of songs on the election results playlist that runs through my head. Among them:

  • When You Wish Upon a Star – Jiminy Cricket
  • Save The Best for Last – Vanessa Williams
  • A Change is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke
  • Waiting for the Miracle – Leonard Cohen
  • At Last – Etta James
  • Philadelphia Freedom – Elton John
  • Everyday People – Sly and the Family Stone

Any favorites on your list? By the way, I’m advocating Bruce Springsteen for the inauguration.

Our country is still a hot mess. But I am hoping someone sane and moral at the helm will drive positive change. Although I lean liberal, I don’t favor extremists of any persuasion. I’m thinking Joe can steer us toward sensible middle ground. There will be disagreements galore, but at least we won’t have all that hateful rhetoric spewing daily. No malarkey!

I NEVER watch political speeches, but I caved and watched Joe and Kamala. I cried. I do believe they are the right team for the right time. I loved how he said he would be president to all, not just his supporters. That always drove me nuts about Trump – only speaking to his base, as though he wasn’t president of the entire United States.

Is it too much to hope both sides will come together and give our country another run at democracy? That somehow Joe can help all of us embrace cooperation over divisiveness?

Dale and I had a lengthy debate discussion on how to pronounce Kamala’s name. It’s comma-la. Dale, as always, disputed my authority, and I had to produce reference material. Then he suggested my sources were not credible, so I finally had to find a video of Kamala saying her own name!

It’s not easy being us.

I still want to practice my intellectual distancing. Some of the more left-wing critics suggest the Biden win will let people like me “go back to brunch.” I’m not going to stop caring and doing what I can to help our country, but I do look forward to waking up everyday without this great existential fear about what Trump and his cronies have done while I was sleeping.

As for him, the reaction is pretty much what I expected. Earlier in the year, I had a vision it would be like the Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy accidentally spills water on the Wicked Witch of the West.

Look what you’ve done!! I’m melting, melting.

Ohhhhh, what a world, what a world. Who would have thought that some little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness.

Election fatigue

The U.S. election has been particularly brutal this year. Of course, I’ve made no secret of my utter disdain for Trump. I fear the worst if he is reelected. However, I’ve read conservatives fear the worst if Biden is elected. Both sides have deeply seated emotions that are on full display and propagated in news outlets and on social media.

It got me thinking about how things used to be. I seem to recall my parents did not tell each other who they voted for, although I remember a Goldwater bumper sticker on the car. That was just posturing. Who you actually voted for was your own private business. Dale said his parents were the same, and he only learned his father was a Democrat years after he died.

Even after a stint in the Army and 20 years as an Army wife, I can’t recollect any serious political conversations with friends or colleagues. A bit of social commentary for sure, but we mostly talked about beer, food, family, work, travel, music, romance and sports. It was fun.

Back when we were having those get-togethers, we assumed no one was exactly like us, so we made an effort to find common ground. With the internet, a lot of people found their tribe, and now they don’t want to socialize with anyone who doesn’t think, act or look like them.

It’s all quite tiresome. While I continue to support causes and candidates I care about, politics has become a dreary topic of conversation. I’m burned out. Aren’t you? I noticed there are no political yard signs in our neighborhood, and I love it. It seems rather peaceful in our little bubble.

Politics and neighborhoods … maybe it’s like marriage. Not everything needs to be said.

A mysterious visitor

Dale had an unusual experience last week, and no, I’m not talking about yard work.

He went to get gas and was parked by the tank, about to fill up. A neatly groomed older guy – Dale said maybe 60s – approached him. The man was wearing shorts Dale said were a little shorter than what’s in fashion (as if Dale would know) and a shirt tucked in. No mask.

The visitor said, “I’m from another area, and I’m not sure how this works. Do I go in and pay?”

Dale asked him if he had a credit card, and the guy said yes. Dale explained he could pay at the pump. The guy got his credit card out and fiddled around with the machine, finally asking Dale if he could help him. Dale showed him how it worked. Before the guy pressed the button for gas, he said, “Oh, is this unleaded?”

By this time, Dale is wondering what the hell? But he said in his nicest Mr. Know-It-All voice, “We haven’t had leaded gas in the U.S. in more than 20 years.”

The guy said, “Oh, OK, thanks.”

Dale’s telling me this story, and I said, “Are you sure he didn’t say he was from another era?”

We both laughed, but that leaves us with some decisions to make. Who was this unmasked man, and why was he so clueless? Here are your choices:

  • Time traveler
  • Alien
  • Recently incarcerated or otherwise institutionalized
  • Other?

I’m voting for time traveler and an unlucky one at that. Time travel should come with a warning: Beware 2020. As for the other choices, it seems like even someone institutionalized would be more savvy, and I’m pretty sure aliens don’t have credit cards … let’s hope not, anyway.