I’m kind of old school about aging. I don’t need new words to describe what is happening to me. Ever the practical one, I’m like, let’s just do this thing.
It turns out being old is not fashionable. Now there are younger adjectives to help us along. Conscious, healthy, active, successful, positive, mindful. It’s a cornucopia of delusions.
Sure, I get it. If you’re going to age, you definitely want to be conscious, and I’m all for that. I experimented with being unconscious for part of the 70s, and it didn’t work out well. As for positive aging, they are against the idea that we are too old for anything, but they are wrong.
Why can’t we be more like cheese? OK, so it dries up a little, but cheese makes up for it by developing a deeper complexity over time. Cheese is an inspiration when it comes to wrinkles and rinds. You don’t see a nice elderly Camembert at the spa lining up for injectables.
All that to say Dale and I are still here, raging against the machine. As you may recall, he broke his pelvis, I fractured my arm and he tore his ACL. Dale is improving but very slowly. I’m doing quite well. My arm and shoulder still hurt, but I can lift heavy stuff and do most things and can sleep on that side now, and that was a game-changer.
I didn’t want to go back to the physical therapy practice that messed up Dale’s knee, not just out of solidarity, but I didn’t like how they responded to my feedback. But then I went to a new PT and ran into another feedback problem, so I’m thinking it might be me.
It’s that damn outside voice!
After a couple of visits, I said my arm still hurt, but I didn’t necessarily blame the exercises because, after all, I was playing golf, and maybe my body was still adjusting. She said you need to accept you can no longer play golf with a competitive mindset. Be less focused on performance and treat it like a nice day out or a walk in the park.
To my credit, I did not respond in real time. My face probably said it all. At the end of the visit, she said she wanted to apologize for being judgmental about golf. I responded, and these are my exact words, “It doesn’t matter because I didn’t ask, and it’s not negotiable.”
Another one bites the dust. I never went back, but I am religiously doing the exercises the first guy gave me and know how to build on that foundation as I continue to gain strength. I am committed to getting strong and living my life with vigor, grit and resilience.
I like to call it a competitive mindset.