I’m kind of old school about aging. I don’t need new words to describe what is happening to me. Ever the practical one, I’m like, let’s just do this thing.
It turns out being old is not fashionable. Now there are younger adjectives to help us along. Conscious, healthy, active, successful, positive, mindful. It’s a cornucopia of delusions.
Sure, I get it. If you’re going to age, you definitely want to be conscious, and I’m all for that. I experimented with being unconscious once in the 70s, and it didn’t work out well. As for positive aging, they are against the idea that we are too old for anything, but they are wrong.
Why can’t we be more like cheese? OK, so it dries up a little, but cheese makes up for it by developing a deeper complexity over time. Cheese is an inspiration when it comes to wrinkles and rinds. You don’t see a nice elderly Camembert at the spa lining up for injectables.
All that to say Dale and I are still here, raging against the machine. As you may recall, he broke his pelvis, I fractured my arm and he tore his ACL. Dale is improving but very slowly. I’m doing quite well. My arm and shoulder still hurt, but I can lift heavy stuff and do most things and can sleep on that side now, and that was a game-changer.
I didn’t want to go back to the physical therapy practice that messed up Dale’s knee, not just out of solidarity, but I didn’t like how they responded to my feedback. But then I went to a new PT and ran into another feedback problem, so I’m thinking it might be me.
It’s that damn outside voice!
After a couple of visits, I said my arm still hurt, but I didn’t necessarily blame the exercises because, after all, I was playing golf, and maybe my body was still adjusting. She said you need to accept you can no longer play golf with a competitive mindset. Be less focused on performance and treat it like a nice day out or a walk in the park.
To my credit, I did not respond in real time. My face probably said it all. At the end of the visit, she said she wanted to apologize for being judgmental about golf. I responded, and these are my exact words, “It doesn’t matter because I didn’t ask, and it’s not negotiable.”
Another one bites the dust. I never went back, but I am religiously doing the exercises the first guy gave me and know how to build on that foundation as I continue to gain strength. I am committed to getting strong and living my life with vigor, grit and resilience.
I like to call it a competitive mindset.
“Aged Cheddar” – great option for my next handle. I enjoyed your article.
I seriously do not think you can go wrong with aged cheddar. I’d change my name to that.
Did she really think she was being judgemental about the golf? It sounds to me like her comment was aimed at the golfer. I think your decision not to go back is sound. You’re the one doing the work and she should have given you credit for that. I hate all those expressions like “60 is the new 40”. And it’s great that you can now sleep on the injured side! That really is a game changer.
Yes, I think you are right, but I didn’t see it until you called it out. Thanks!
Keep the competitive mindset and ignore the naysayer docs. Why do they think we are too old for this or that? I like the thought of aging like fine wine or cheese. Maybe I’ll start addressing myself as Ms. Brie…thick-skinned on the outside and soft on the inside.
I’ve been thinking about my cheese name. I’m torn between Jalapeno Jack and Cave Aged Gruyere.
Ha ha! I forgot to put on sunscreen the other day so I’m going with Red Leicester. Wish I could find it at the grocery store more often.
Red Leicester is a fine name!
What an extraordinary thing for you (now ex) PT to say. Mindset gets people through the most amazing trials, why on earth would she knock anyone back on it. It seems to me she realised she had badly messed up, hence the attempted apology. You’ve had a bad run with PTs, one doing physical harm and the other attempting to knock your spirit. I think your outdoor voice said what needed saying.
Currently I am enjoying a creamy blue cheese – I think that would suit me in the aging like cheese stakes, being somewhat squishy but with a bit of tang 🙂
I’m also glad I dumped her.
I love your cheese name (and the description). Maybe we can fancy it up and make it Bleu Cheese. Just an idea.
I would say I’m a solid medium cheddar. I’ve always been more for function than form. 70 is around the corner. I’m aware of my aging physicality everyday. Like the last car I had that was bunk in the snow, I learned to recognize its limitations. Or was it its capabilities? I’m aware of my aging physicality everyday. I’m committed to doing what I can albeit slower.
I feel the same way. Stay strong. By any means necesssary.