Channeling fury

The Republicans sure are flooding the zone with horrifying bullshit, but I believe the greatest threat so far is Elon Musk’s illegal takeover of the federal treasury. This goes beyond outrage of the day. This is a coup.

Although I tried to call my U.S. Senators and Representative, I couldn’t get through, so I sent emails. I’m still trying to call, but I get a busy signal or “this mailbox is full.” When I finally do connect, I will focus on one issue per message.

Here’s what I wrote:

I am a defense industry retiree and U.S. Army veteran. I am terrified by the Trump administration’s attack on democracy and am eager to see my elected officials fight back. The attack is so broad in scope, it’s overwhelming to regular Americans. I can imagine it is for you, too. But now is the time to rise up and do the job you were elected to do.

Social justice is important, and we can never lose sight of that, but I believe Trump is using those issues to distract us. I’m asking you to follow the money. I’m no expert, but I see three immediate priorities: reverse these ill-conceived tariffs; get Elon Musk out of our government and strip him of access to the treasury; and oppose all efforts to reduce taxes for corporations and billionaires. 

Thank you.

Please contact your elected representatives. Feel free to use anything I’ve written that resonates with you. Oh, and I checked the box that said I wanted a reply. Jeez, this thing with Elon is affecting my sleep.

Last night I enjoyed a cannabis sleep gummy, and it really did help. I take it at least an hour before I actually want to go to sleep – they take some time to get through your system. If you can get it, I like Kanha Cannabis Infused Tranquility Gummies. Each gummy has 5 mg of THC. That’s a little much for me, so I cut them in half.

The FU Amazon Challenge

On the subject of billionaires behaving badly, I always knew Amazon had a dark side, but I chose to look the other way and admired Jeff Bezos for coming up with such a great idea. That time is gone.

I calculated how much I spent on Amazon last year. It was more than I’m prepared to admit. But then I treat Amazon like the corner store. Need dental floss? Push a button and boom. Need a new coffee pot? Push a button and boom. Need a rug? A Vitamix? Cat food? Coconut milk? Push a button and boom.

My spending on digital purchases wasn’t as jaw-dropping. I use the library a lot, but still, I spent a fair chunk of change on books, movies, music and TV shows.

After reviewing my purchases, I only found a few things that would be difficult to find elsewhere. While this is not a complete FU, I’m making a pledge to reduce my total Amazon spending by 50 percent in 2025. I am confident I can do way better than that, but I thought it would be good to under promise and overdeliver.

Will you join me?

To help with the transition, I’m checking out other online sources that aren’t owned by douchebags. I also downloaded the Target app, since I will be buying a lot more things in person. I hate the idea of wandering through the aisles not knowing where anything is, but the app includes aisle numbers, so I can make a shopping plan and include that on my list. I’m told there’s a mapping feature, too, but I haven’t explored that yet.

Dale is doing his part to feed and sustain the reluctant activist (and channeling his fury) by making chili and playing The Byrds.

All things in moderation

Try as I might, I don’t believe I’m going to complete my reference for resisting the threat against democracy. The blitz is so large in scope, it’s almost impossible to prioritize the issues or resources that will help us confront this monstrosity. My attempts so far seem a bit like pissing in the wind, although I have never actually pissed in the wind. I’m pretty sure Dale has, though.

How many kinds of crazy can you handle at once?

I’ve been reading great opinion pieces on independent media that mostly amount to “outrage of the day.” Not a lot of advice at this point, but I have come to the conclusion social and cultural issues are smoke and mirrors designed to fire us up and keep us divided.

The good guys will be marching in the streets for basic human rights, while the bad guys cloak themselves in righteousness and grab all the money and power. One ring to rule them all.

I honestly don’t know what to do, but my best idea at this point is to follow the money. I’ve never actually called my senators, but tomorrow I’m going to try it and see what happens. I’ll focus on ill-conceived tariffs and Elon Musk gaining access to the treasury system. My message is we elected you to represent us, and this is an attack on Americans. Get your head out of your ass and do something!

I’ll probably say it nicer than that. Maybe it depends on who answers the phone? If anyone even answers. As they used to say in the South when I lived there, I have no earthly idea!

As for outrage of the day, I realized I was also following that path here and at home. I told Dale I’ll stop reading the shitshow news to him, and I’m not going to go on and on about it here, either. I will continue to share what I think is important, but I’m not wired for daily outrage. All things in moderation.

What I’m Eating

Last night was Transylvanian Layered Cabbage, which I described in an earlier post. Sauerkraut, pork, smoked sausage, rice and sour cream. As an accompaniment, I made a no-knead rye bread that was my best ever. There’s a lot of casserole left over, so we’ll skip a day and have another go at it.

Probably one serving will go into our garage chest freezer, which we are defrosting today! It’s not that hard, but Dale and I approach things differently (to say the least). I bundle similar items into giant Ziplocs so you can find them again, but Dale likes to toss things in like logs on a fire.

Arguments will be had.

For breakfast, Dale made scrambled eggs with homemade Mexican-style chorizo and his excellent salsa verde. He eats his eggs on a tortilla like a taco, but I prefer them without. Either way, delicious!

I’ve got some lobster stock thawing out for miso seafood chowder, but that will be mid-week. If we skip a day on the casserole, that means tonight’s dinner is unknown at this time. Maybe we’ll be inspired by something in the freezer. I know there’s some tuna casserole in there. It always sounds yucky, but I make it all from scratch with mushrooms and a bechamel sauce topped with cheddar, and it’s great.

What I’m Watching

I finished season 4 of Astrid. I highly recommend that show on PBS Masterpiece. I started watching season 5 of All Creatures Great and Small, which is a nice respite from all the gruesomeness of life and fiction. Was I hallucinating or did I see there will be a new Lincoln Lawyer season on Netflix?

What I’m Reading

Not for the feint of heart, but I read Resisting the Right by Robert Edwards. He’s an excellent writer to begin with, and the material is meticulously researched. Published before Trump was elected, it’s still quite grim, but it should be a fixture on everyone’s resistance bookshelf. Mr. Edwards also has an enlightening blog, The King’s Necktie.

I’m rather proud of my holds list (and position!) at the library:

  • Locked In by Jussi Adler-Olsen (1)
  • Witchcraft for Wayward Girls by Grady Hendrix (4)
  • Be Ready When the Luck Happens by Ina Garten (7)
  • Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros (13)

Attention must be paid

Well, now. I said I would pay more attention to what is happening in America because attention must be paid, but this is a bit much. I am, after all, retired and a woman of leisure, but every day the shitshow gets worse, and I can’t in good conscience look away. Somehow, we’ve got to unravel the truth.

What I’ve learned this week is the truth hides in plain sight. I believe it was David in the comments section of my last post who said, “Pay attention to your news source.”  

Case in point. I’ve been reading independent news reports that say on Jan. 28 the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) sent an email to nearly all full-time federal employees offering them an alleged eight month’s severance package to resign by Feb. 6. That’s about 2 million people.

I went into panic mode, wondering how I’m going to get my Social Security if everyone is gone, and my husband said he read about the email, but the buyout was for people who are working from home and refuse to go back to the office.

Oh, only that, well, it’s about time.

Dale’s information source was a Bloomberg article with the headline, “Trump Offers Buyouts to Federal Employees Resisting In-Person Work.”

Kinda sorta. While the email includes a return-to-office requirement, the “deferred resignation” offer is much broader in scope. Some say it’s a simple workforce reduction strategy, and others say the goal is to rid ourselves of a nonpartisan civil service and replace it with party loyalists. The Trump administration seems to have rigged up some sort of con to address pesky legal concerns, but thankfully, there is truth and resistance from all corners.

I had to re-check all my sources to prove to Dale I wasn’t making this up. Even the OPM confirmed the email wasn’t only for those who don’t show up at the office.

Deferred resignation is available to all full-time federal employees except for military personnel of the armed forces, employees of the U.S. Postal Service, those in positions related to immigration enforcement and national security, and those in other positions specifically excluded by your employing agency.

Everyone chooses how they tell a story, me included. No matter who you hear it from, attention must be paid. Sometimes you have to pull back the curtain to figure out what’s really happening. Whether intentional or not, trusted news sources aren’t always trustworthy.

Interestingly, the email’s subject line featured the same wording Elon Musk used when he took over Twitter and tried to fire just about everybody. A Fork in the Road.

Or as I like to call it, A Fork in the Throat.

I’m reading lots of intelligent commentary on America’s turn to the right but still not seeing any clear direction on what average citizens can do to stop it. I’m working on my little handout that might direct people to topic-specific independent news sources and non-profit organizations, so at least we can read about it and maybe give some money to others who are working hard to save our country.

Dinner

And at last we turn to talk of dinner! We’re headed for a cold and rainy spell, so Dale and I are prioritizing the list of delicious “winter” meals to ease our suffering. I’ve been getting my sourdough starter ready so I can bake a boule this weekend. Probably miso seafood chowder to go with.

Dale plans to make a batch of chili. His recipe uses pork and beef but no beans and is from a handout we got at a liquor store 40 years ago – a promotional piece by Marlboro!

Also on the docket is a dish we make called Transylvanian Layered Cabbage. It’s a casserole with layers of sauerkraut, rice, sour cream, ground pork, smoked sausage and bacon. It sounds weird, but it’s oddly fabulous. One of us will make rye bread to go with that.

Slather some butter on that bread and fill up a tankard of beer, and you remember that in spite of it all, life is good!

Denial is not an option

As expected, all things Trump put me in a foul mood. It would be easy to stick my head in the sand and go about my happy life. That’s what one of my golf buddies said – this stuff largely didn’t affect him, so he was tuning out.

I said, yeah, I get that, but I keep thinking about the poem by Pastor Martin Niemöller.

First they came for the Communists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Communist
Then they came for the Socialists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Socialist
Then they came for the trade unionists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for the Jews
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Jew
Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To speak out for me

Citizen Donna came to the rescue and helped me realize denial is not an option. I know it’s different for everyone, but I’ll share my thoughts in case there’s a nugget or two.

For starters, I’m not much of an activist and don’t want to be. But reading the news and getting jolted every day with the lunacy of it all was making me feel angry and powerless. What to do?

It might sound counterintuitive, but I started actually paying more attention to the news – not just titillating headlines, but in-depth information on equal rights, fair taxation, immigration, abortion medication, Supreme Court ethics … and the beat goes on.

I quickly realized there’s a lot I don’t know about pretty much everything. I saw birthright citizenship was buzzing around in the headlines, but I didn’t realize the potential impact of Trump’s executive action until I read up on the 14th Amendment. I thought I was all cool with transgender issues until I went to a resource for transgender allies and learned I’m actually quite clueless.

Switching from the victim mode to the learning mode has made a huge difference in my mental state. It’s not just read it and weep anymore. As I become more educated on these issues, I’ll be better prepared to discuss them, and that already makes me a better citizen than I was before I came out of my funk. Is that an approach that will work for you as well?

The next step is harder, and that’s action. I’m not likely to go door-to-door or join a march, but I have skills that can help other people make sense of it all. For some clarity, I started working on a master document that succinctly describes the top issues, nonprofit organizations focused on those issues and independent media sources that provide facts and perspective. For the nonprofits, I will also include a rating from one of the charity watchdog organizations.

I’m hoping this whole exercise will help us see which issues trigger a reaction so we can decide where to focus our time and energy. I’ll be sure to post it when I’m finished. You know, I never did find a volunteer opportunity that suited me, but maybe the best way for me to give back is to share my pro-Democracy content and donate money to causes I care about.

That doesn’t mean all my other stuff is going away. I’ll still write about books, movies, food and all the other simple pleasures that add up to a great retirement.

The opposite of bored

You know the age old question for retirees. What do you do all day? If you find the idea of being bored in retirement preposterous, this post might be for you.

My thinking on this subject has morphed since I started watching Astrid on PBS Masterpiece. The show features a brilliant autistic woman named Astrid who works in criminal records and is recruited by a detective to help solve crimes. It’s French with subtitles, which I hardly notice.

Her autism bugged me at first, but I grew more comfortable with it as the series and the characters evolved. Wouldn’t it be great if it worked that way in real life? You spend some time with a person, get to know them and maybe they don’t seem so damn odd after all. One can hope.

A common characteristic of people with autism is the special interest, which is an intense hyper-focus area that brings joy and helps them stay centered. To some, a special interest may come across as obsessive, but a few of us out here might be envious.

I’m talking about we, the people, who have too many interests and sometimes have difficulty focusing. As for me, I’ve spent a lot of time and dropped a fair chunk of change on things that interested me … for a while.

Retirement changes the game. The good news is we have time and hopefully enough money to dabble, and sometimes we’re like kids in a candy store. It’s exciting to think, what do I want to try next? But then you realize time doesn’t last forever, and it’s a fixed income, anyway, so you can’t get stupid with it.

I already have plenty of interests, but every now and then I’m tempted by some new shiny object. Sewing is one. I used to jump for it, but now that I’m older and wiser, I start thinking about the start-up costs, learning curve, space requirements, time commitment – and I get stuck.

Like Astrid, do I need something to stay centered? She inspired me to think about my current hobbies as special interests. Plural. These are the activities that have stood the test of time. Instead of spreading myself too thin, I want to make the most of what I know is sustainable.

My approach to these interests is haphazard at best. I grow cannabis, for example, but sometimes my yields are unsatisfactory, and I’ve done nothing to dig deeper and find out why. Cooking is a big one, but there’s no organization or the slightest bit of discipline to my approach. The house looks like a recipe bomb exploded, and no one came to clean up the debris.

One of the joys of retirement is that you can throw rigid schedules out the window, and I relish my laid back lifestyle. That said, it’s time to focus on my special interests in a more mindful way. Pay more attention to the details.

For starters, I bought a book about growing cannabis, and it has given me good ideas for how to improve my yield. I spend an inordinate amount of time on puzzles, so I might cap that at an hour a day. Swimming is 30 minutes of freestyle, but I could easily introduce some variations to my workout.

While I suppose there’s a certain charm to being the eccentric Bohemian who dabbles in what amuses her, retirement by shiny object can be stressful. I waste a lot of time doing not much of anything because I’m overwhelmed by choices. On the other hand, I don’t want a hardcore regimen about what I do when.

If this dilemma sounds familiar, I can offer a few suggestions that will perhaps help us maximize the pleasures and outcomes of things we already do.

Does this interest make you happy? How much time are you committing? Think weekly not daily – overall, is there balance? Do you feel calm? Would you enjoy improving your skill level or technique? Can you throw some money at it? Will a schedule or some sort of organizational structure bring clarity, improve your performance or just create unwanted stress?

There will come a day when I ignore all reason and go for it, but right now I’m saying no to sewing and other shiny objects so I can properly tend to my current garden of interests.

No big thoughts here

I scheduled my colonoscopy for Jan. 20, which is inauguration day. Sure, I could have watched Donald Trump take the oath of office, but I went with a good old-fashioned colon blow … the extended edition that includes a partially sedated anal probe.

No regrets.

I’m continuing to focus less on what’s actually happening in the world and more on what’s happening in our kitchen. Since I retired, I’ve learned that I’m a happier and calmer person when I quit trying to think the big thoughts and direct my energy into simple things that make life pleasurable. Food is always at the top of the list.

I made some excellent bread in 2024, especially sourdough, but this year I’d like to push a little harder and try some different recipes. Bagels, brioche, you name it. I also want to try making croissants. Not for the feint of heart, as I understand it.

We ate our share of sweets over the holidays, so I’m trying to cut back on sugar. No plans to give it up – I just want to be more mindful. Save it for when it counts! I’ve been eating a lot of oatmeal, which is good. But I’ve been hammering it with brown sugar, which is, shall we say, not my best choice. Does oatmeal even need to be sweet?

I Googled savory oatmeal, and there’s a lot out there with stuff I really don’t want to eat in the morning. I kept it simple and made a batch with just chopped walnuts and a little salt. Very good. Then I tried it with chopped walnuts, currants, olive oil and a dash of sea salt. Yum!

While I might still do the sweeter variety of oatmeal from time to time, I’m enjoying these other options. What about something with sesame oil ? Some toasted seeds?

One of my other breakfast treats is an egg cooked in olive oil. I heat a couple of tablespoons of olive oil into a small nonstick pan and then add an egg as though I’m frying it. But it almost poaches in the pool of oil. When the egg is done, I pour the whole thing – oil and egg – on sourdough toast. It’s so delicious. I’m wondering if it might be good on oatmeal, too.

I’m starting my sourdough tonight, and we’re having that tomorrow with balsamic glazed chicken thighs with burst tomatoes and green beans. I put a bottle of Gewürztraminer in the fridge. People think Gewürz is a sweet wine, but we buy a dry variety from Navarro Vineyards. We love it..

Pizza tonight. A replay of a pizza Dale made for the first time a few weeks ago. He said he was experimenting with new toppings, and it was going to sound weird. Hot Italian sausage, anchovies and red onion. I said, what’s weird about that? It sounds wonderful.

And it was seriously one of the best pizzas he has ever made. The anchovies sort of melt into the sausage, and it’s an umami flavor bomb. A little crunch of the red onion, and a sprinkling of parmesan, and you wonder where this has been all your life.

No big thoughts here, but a toast perhaps?

To you, may your pleasures be simple and your food simply delicious.

Reading as entertainment

Although I do enjoy a good list, I try not to keep track of my daily habits. Seriously, it’s better if you don’t look.

However, I made an exception this past year for books, mostly because I read a lot of series, and I like to go in order. The whole thing is easier when you keep track. Especially as you get older …

My spreadsheet shows I read 44 books in 2024. Not a world record but not too shabby, considering the average American reads 12 books a year. At least according to the Pew Research Center.

Most of my reading was crime fiction. I went back over the list to see what stood out, and I am surprised to say not much. A lot of what I read is entertaining but not particularly memorable. And I’m OK with that. I’m just here for the party and am not out to score literary credits.

Reading can be educational and challenging and cerebral, but I’m all about simple pleasures and most of the time I read books to escape or be entertained. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

All that said, the biggest surprise for me was discovering Tana French, who has been writing for quite awhile without my knowledge! I’ve read three of her books now, and I will go out on a limb and suggest this is crime fiction at its finest. I particularly enjoyed In the Woods, the first in her Dublin Murder Squad series. Faithful Place was another great one, although the story definitely takes family dysfunction to a new level. I’m still thinking about that one.

Just to prove I do mix it up from time to time, a few others at the top of my 2024 list include genres other than crime fiction:

  • Lady Tan’s Circle of Women by Lisa See
  • A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles
  • Farewell, Amethystine by Walter Mosley
  • Clete by James Lee Burke
  • The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon
  • Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros

As for 2025, I don’t suppose I’ll change much. I’m next up at the library for The Waiting by Michael Connelly. Locked In, the finale to the Department Q series by Jussi Adler-Olsen, just came out. The library doesn’t have it yet, but it should come in soon, and I’ll get in the queue for that.

Another one I’ll be on the lookout for is Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros. I believe it comes out later this month. This is book three of three in The Empyrean series, science fiction/fantasy novels about young dragon riders trying to save the world.

I’ve started to make a list of science fiction detective novels. That just sounds like fun reading to me. And I will need some fun (and maybe brown liquor) to get me through the Trump years.

Oh, you probably know the flags will be flying at half-staff for 30 days to honor former President Jimmy Carter. But did you realize that means the flags will be flying at half-staff during Trump’s inauguration?

Just a little something to perk you up. Happy New Year.

Time calibration

I never thought I’d say this about retirement, but in some ways, time is harder to manage than money.

In the cosmic sense, you think, how much time do I have left on the planet? Another 20 years? Is this how I want to spend it? For the most part, I’d say yes, but then I wonder what I might be missing.

Mostly I avoid thinking about the cosmos as it applies to me. I have a good life and try to enjoy the time that has been given. Still, I’m wondering if I need a time calibration on the simple pleasures of day-to-day life.

I mean, I’ll get up early for golf if I have to, but that’s about it. I’m a fan of the slow start, which means a leisurely breakfast and a slew of puzzles from the New York Times. By the way, I’m loving the new game, Strands.

Then there are chores, exercise, reading, writing, streaming shows, travel, art and the art of food – browsing recipes, shopping for ingredients, preparing meals and enjoying the results! I’m sure the young and busy with their families and jobs and all that are thinking, oh, wah, how hard can it be?

Well, true, it’s not that it’s hard. It’s just that we older folks know the clock is ticking, and it goes back to that cosmic thing. Could I be doing this differently? The big thing for me is setting aside more time to write. Not only for blog posts but also because writers write. It helps me think.

I’ve been reading a lot, but I’d like to try more challenging material. I saw a paperback of All Quiet on the Western Front in our stash, and I barely remember it from high school. And other than one class in college, I’ve never taken to Shakespeare, although it might be time. I’ll need to be upright for that.

Snuggly reading under the covers is better suited for a good who-done-it.

Now that I think about it, I’m doing OK, but maybe a little less golf and a little more in the way of intellectual pursuits. Not that golf doesn’t fry your brain – just in a different way. Anyway, as I was thinking about how I live and spend my time as I age, I started a random list of questions I should probably work through. See what you think.

  • How much sleep is too much sleep? Do you have to stop at 10?
  • Why is everything better with butter?
  • Amazon or Spotify? Do I care what Neil Young thinks?
  • What counts as one glass of wine?
  • Acorn or BritBox?
  • Is it Friday or was that yesterday?
  • If you get up to pee three times in a night, does an angel get its wings?
  • What’s so bad about a gluten-rich diet?
  • Why is it always about the knees?
  • If I can gain five pounds in a week, why can’t I lose five pounds in a week?
  • How many Law & Order reruns can I watch? Am I wrong to love Lenny?
  • Kale. OK, but why?
  • Peeps. Crap candy or nature’s miracle?

There are more, but we’ll stop here so you can get back to the important things you were doing with your time.

That’s good, that’s bad

It has been an annoying few weeks, and I’ve put writing on the bottom of the list. Today, I thought, if you want life to go back to normal, then why not do the normal stuff you do … such as write? I’m telling you, friends, the brain is a dangerous thing.

Speaking of dangerous things, I’m told by my sister, who is not a doctor but plays one on the Internet, that Advil isn’t good for us older adults. We do use with caution, but still, Dale calls them blue buddies. I mentioned this to one of my golf partners, and she said, “Advil is my favorite drug, and I’ve tried most of them.”

So, it has been a mix of Tylenol and Advil, but even then, sparingly. Ice. I won’t go into all the gory details, but I messed up my knees trying to be the athlete I was in my 30s. I’m in less pain than I was even a week ago, so that’s good.

The same golf friend, who was a teacher, often quotes a children’s book called, That’s Good, That’s Bad. It comes up a lot in golf. Let’s see how it works here.

I messed up my thumb pushing my golf cart up a hill. I was distracted for a moment, and the cart rolled back toward me, sort of squishing my thumb. The result was an ugly cyst-like thing. That’s bad.

The cyst hurts occasionally but not all that much. That’s good.

I finally got an appointment with a hand specialist, and he said it’s an arthritic cyst that can pop up at any time for no good reason. Or it can be the result of an accident such as mine. He said it could go away on its own. That’s good.

But it might not. He could surgically remove it, but there’s a good chance it will come back since the underlying cause – our friend arthritis – hasn’t gone away. He recommended I do nothing, but if and when I get tired of looking at it, to go for the surgery. That’s bad.

I’ve been using cannabis cream on the cyst, and it looks smaller to me. Virtually no pain. That’s good.

I was diagnosed with osteoporosis two years ago but didn’t go back for another bone scan until this month. I wasn’t going to go at all, because after a lot of reading, I’m deeply suspicious the whole thing is a racket dreamed up by the people who make the scanning machines and the drug companies. That’s bad.

But I’ve been taking vitamins A and K for two years, and I wanted to see if it made a difference. That’s good.

My numbers were overall quite stable. That’s good.

However, my primary care physician said I might want to consider medication. That’s bad.

There’s a lot of nasty stuff associated with bone density drugs, so my hope is to avoid them. But then I thought, maybe it’s time to hear what experts have to say about the latest and greatest in bone density treatment. My doctor referred me to an endocrinologist, and I made an appointment for January 18. That’s good.

Except when I arrived, they said my appointment was for July 18. That’s bad.

The receptionist was quite sympathetic, and I said don’t worry about it, I wasn’t all that excited to be here anyway. She laughed. That’s good.

Then there’s the curious case of Donna’s favorite sock. I recently purchased three pairs of wool socks that are really great for keeping my feet warm during cold-weather walks and long rounds of golf. That’s good.

Late one afternoon, I was getting ready to take a shower and took off my workout clothes, draping them over the hamper. They were still reasonably clean – passing the sniff test with flying colors – and I figured I could wear them again the next day. I left the socks on the floor by the hamper. In the morning, one of my socks was gone. That’s bad.

At first, I sort of blew it off. Like, oh, I must have misplaced that sock. But then I started a legitimate search and rescue. I went through every item I have worn in that past month to see if it got stuck in a sleeve or leg. I checked the washing machine and the dryer. I checked Dale’s stuff. I’ve gone through all my drawers, to no avail. That’s bad.

I thought, well, it would be atypical, but maybe our cat Riley had a sudden hankering for a tasty sock. I checked under all the beds, his treehouse, anywhere he might have stashed it. I warned Riley he was in big kitty trouble if he messed with my sock. But it appears he’s innocent. That’s good.

Dale suggested poltergeists are responsible. This would be the first sign of them, and I’ve actually Googled this, but it’s not looking like poltergeists steal socks. That’s good.

That’s the end of my little rant. My knees are on the mend. My thumb is fine. My bones are hanging tough and on hold until July. I’ll live to write another day. That’s good.

But my sock is gone. That’s bad.

Retirement math

Last year was my fifth year of retirement, and I’m pleased to report I’m getting better at accomplishing very little. In 2023, I read a lot of crime fiction, wrote a bunch of blog posts, took a few road trips, watched a couple dozen shows on TV, walked, stretched, swam, cooked and ate delicious food. Dabbled at art.

I’d say it was a fine year. As a recovering over-achiever, it feels good to enjoy simple pleasures and chill. I don’t really like to keep count, as my last job was all about metrics gone wild. That said, you may be interested to learn I also enjoyed 21 blissful hours of full-body massage and about 100 rounds of golf.

Now for a “deep dive” into retirement math.

At an average of 4.5 hours per round, that’s 450 hours of golf. If one assumes a 40-hour work week, 450 hours converts to 11.25 weeks of golf, and that is the equivalent of playing golf for more than two months of the year!

My massages added up to $1,960. However, I don’t dye my hair, so let’s deduct $125 per month from massage expenditures. That leaves us at $460, which a working person such as myself might have spent on makeup, shoes, dry cleaning or even Botox. So, let’s just wipe the slate clean and accept that in retirement math, my massages are free.

There might be something to metrics after all. Seriously, I don’t think I’m playing enough golf.